We all know you're high and it's super annoying.

I think there's a lot of cultural motivation to be some kind of great person - be it because of the great man theory of history or the economic glorification of the captains of industry. However, as communists, our theories of history and economics don't have any love lost for this analysis of the world. We recognize that without labor, not a single gear would turn. So, in my mind, success as a society doesn't rely on the prophetic vision of someone unbound by the constraints of societal pressures, but by iterative improvements and experiments put forward by groups of people who could stand to be liberated from under the economic heel of serving treats and proliferating the MIC. In this paradigm, the person who does push forward the big discovery/gadget is congratulated and venerated, but the cultural zeitgeist shouldn't be centered around that moment of discovery, but instead around highlighting the group and their efforts. Think of watching a Summoning Salt video instead of just the WR speedrun. If I can characterize my desire as wanting to be part of a culture that celebrates the collaborative more than wanting to be exalted as the person who accomplishes something, I can say that I don't "lack motivation" because I don't yearn to be celebrated.

I also struggle to see myself in chosen ones - I don't write the MCs of my novels as inherently special, but rather people who have to rise to the occasion. I hear that media that depicts hordes of zombies (post-apocalyptic has never resonated with me) springs from the same core philosophy. I would much rather hear about someone who is weird because they had to panic and push through a crowd of normal people than someone who is normal who had to run their truck through a horde of zombies. When I think of what I want for myself, the conversation is never to cultivate what makes me special to live up to my potential, it's always about doing something cool because the opportunity exists for those who would take it.

For example, with my black belt coming up in BJJ (in likely <year), I find a lot of joy in reflecting about how I took detours to learn about striking, wrestling, and judo while I've never had a genuine interest in my tournament results which have, as a result, been lackluster. For me, I grew up hearing people say that nobody's cut from a different cloth and how "you're a fucking sick (oops, can't show that word on a Christian forum) if you want to be." I went into BJJ because I wanted to believe that anyone could walk in off the street and, with the proper attitude, opportunity, will, and work become a black belt. I don't know that it ever crossed my mind that among the public, I was specially engineered to get that belt because of some characteristic about myself. On the contrary, my enormous gag reflex, gentle demeanor, and sensitive skin would imply that I am particularly imperfect for BJJ. Sometimes it's hard to go into a group of practicing MMA athletes as a weekly manga reader with no competitive ambition and believe "yep, I can hang with you shirtless people with tattoos and muscles!" even if I was invited by the coach. I think in my darkest moments I worried that inherent characteristics about myself made me too bad of a person to be able to accomplish the goal or that my accomplishments would be given out of pity. Even then, when it came to digging myself out of that hole, the act of showing up and being part of that community and touching ~~grass~~ mat helped bring me out of that funk when people showed me love instead of hating me for being me.

So, I guess sometimes I feel like I'm missing some fire or edge because I'm not striving to stand out. I do have accomplishments that stand out - I don't like to list them in public because it feels boastful. But if we just look at BJJ - while it's hard to get accurate data, a safe assumption is that <1% of people who walk in the door to do BJJ make it to brown belt. If the exclusivity were the goal, I feel like I should feel some other emotion about it. That maybe I should lean into it and make it into some complex about what a precise and superior fighter I am. I earnestly, when I'm being honest and sincere, don't toil in the hopes of being more than someone else. Deep down in there I'm hoping that an attractive person I'm attracted to goes "oh you really like that thing that I like too! Let's talk about it for hours" and magically I like talking to them for hours. Likewise, being really helpful and working on my own terms has 1,000,000x more resonance to me than being really rich (marble countertops, consuming luxury slop, having exclusive seating/priority, etc.). But with a resume of cool shit that I've done it's like shouldn't I want to pursue something until it's amazing? Shouldn't I be one track minded towards a goal? I seem to be floating listlessly and a goal might shake that up. Am I just coping?

Do you feel the same way? Without great man theory, imperial core chauvinism, and ~~unenlightened~~ non-liberating education do you still strive to be special and stand out? Do you want to be outstanding - the person who finally discovers and invents the thing? Do you have any guidance for me?

I'm undecided until I see them.

Sounds boring so I choose to believe it's counter-revolutionary

Disco Elysium who??

https://www.butajape.com/comic/one-big-mario-party/

Run it back you coward. 3 more days in Termina, 30 new masks, 3 new transformations, 6 new dungeons.The woke media won't admit it'd be GotY even if they recycled the assets because they want to keep making AAA games.

it's relevant to AI

Relevantly

Kasparov is chairman of the Human Rights Foundation and chairs its International Council. In 2017, he founded the Renew Democracy Initiative (RDI), an American political organisation promoting and defending liberal democracy in the U.S. and abroad. He serves as chairman of the group. Kasparov is also a security ambassador for the software company Avast.[14]

In 2021, Kasparov promoted a series of 32 NFTs that detailed important moments in his career. The top four sold for more than $11,000.[197][198]

I would say that he's a trying his best. And I believe I could stand to learn something from somebody who was so outstanding at his craft.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP8xt8o4_5Q

Why did I write this?

Everything was so fucking expensive. They also put in those refrigerators where it has the ads and they're just as fucking awful and weird as the pictures would have you believe. Also, the big cctv showing you as you go down the aisle and check out are fucked. At self check out you can no longer mute it so it has to talk to you. Finally, they hired security to stand at the entrance of the store which is gross. edit: Some stuff was also locked in a cabinet

The devil is in that store. I'm so fucking pissed.

Pros: it will be exciting and engaging to see someone with a federated name and the notice their opinion being dogshit

Cons: mathematically proven to not have cons

https://nitter.net/aprettyPR/status/1733189753523081247

I might not have used the phrase waste of money, but I'm within the same ballpark if I'm asked to do something I don't want to do. I don't want to spend some $60 for a tiktok trend. I'm slow to do activities beyond what I'm already investing my limited energy into. I historically feel like I'm putting forth a lot of energy on top of what I already use to exist to be aware of my partner's presence, making sure we're doing enough together, making sure they're happy, etc. It has historically been and seems like the sort of thinking that your partner should want to do things like this that makes me feel like I'm obviously out of the loop on something. I couldn't imagine wanting a partner to be down for every idea I have and there would be some catharsis in not having the expectation that I drop what I'm doing and open up my wallet for theirs. "I don't want to spend money on this" is a common part of my life - it's something that I'm conversing with myself all the time. I could but I'd be content abstaining. It seems like if "if [he] wanted to he would" is the dynamic, then my partner would be another spinning plate (alongside work, health, social obligations) instead of my fellow plate spinner with their own burdens to satisfy.

The consensus that the boyfriend is being hurtful and obviously a bad partner feels like getting checkmated. How could I ever be a good match for any of those people? How could I ever want to? Because they spend their hard earned money on some cutesy thing for me in return? Like please don't. Where am I going to put it? What if I want to horse around and there's all sorts of fragile shit around? What if we have friends over and now there's shit they need to be careful around? What if there's shit we need but we already spent all our money on shit we don't need? Big expectations around gifts feel like a big burden. "comrade let's go for a walk." "comrade let's cook a meal." "comrade let's have friends over for board game night." "comrade teach me something new." "comrade let's have a deep conversation." "comrade my friends are having a party." are things off the top of my head that would feel much better to drop what I'm doing for and look forward to doing it. The kind of person who would do shit like that with me is the kind of person who I'd go on road trips with, travel, move in with, etc. But the idea that we'd get into fights over some sort of "you should want to do this" and "I don't want to" isn't a good answer would be disqualifying for me and it looks like that's a common attitude.

https://nitter.net/aaronbronsteter/status/1712211098764501027

(can someone help me make a nitter link please?)

In order for McGregor to be eligible via USADA, he'd have to wait 6 months. On October 9th, the UFC representative was like "Iunno bout allat."

As someone with many years of combat sport experience with a little MMA alongside a working knowledge of MMA in the UFC and otherwise, it's quite the meme to have people not get USADA tested. Of all the problems with fight prep, I would have put dehydration for weight cutting at the highest problem over USADA testing. It's apparently annoying, but for a sport whose history includes people juiced to the gills, it seems like the superior alternative to allow people to fight without jeopardizing their health. When the UFC pays out so poorly, it's not really worth your health for a lot of would be fighters. It's also why you can't kick to the head on the ground. Sure, there are times that the combat sports shows its sportiness with unrealistic exchanges and sometimes it gets abused by people waiting to be stood back up, but if it means people are cracking each others orbital bones, it's a respectful addition for the fighters.

As a lefty, It seems like the enshittification continues. Can't afford to properly test fighters because McGregor needs to come back NOW. Now fighters are going to be stood back up by a ref so they can use their uber muscles to break another man's orbital bone with a giga punch.