Miraculously it kinda worked for the fall.

This is just a recycled George Carlin bit.

Replace Falcon with Starliner. Boeing is big enough to fuck up twice.

I hear Aquaman is looking to boost his real estate portfolio.

Renting by itself would be fine, it's just that there's barely any rent control in North America, and you're constantly at the mercy of your landlord, inflation and general greed. Put national standards for renter protection and rent increases in place and this would be much less of a problem.

Cory Doctorow has a solution: put some pebbles in your shoes, that will change the way you walk right away.

I need a paralegal to show me where they went wrong!

Not true anymore. You can create a reasonable voice clone with like 30 seconds of audio now (11labs for example doesn't do any kind of authentication). The results are good enough for this kind of thing, especially in a lower bandwidth situation like a phone call.

Solution: Rocket propelled guillotines

I feel the audience for this joke is pretty specific. https://tenor.com/WsvE.gif

And they killed a dog

Emotional Support Vehicle