[-] avirse@feddit.uk 15 points 8 months ago

Having a group is only half the battle, the other half is getting that group together when one person works odd hours, another has chronic illness with lots of medical appointments, and a third has a bitch of a commute during the week so often can't get home in time.

For years we had games every Friday and Sunday, all it takes is a couple of people changing jobs to completely disrupt that setup.

[-] avirse@feddit.uk 20 points 1 year ago

Yes, putting an electrical appliance in the bathroom is weirder than putting an appliance that requires both power and plumbing in the room that always has both power and plumbing.

[-] avirse@feddit.uk 15 points 1 year ago

I don't even seem to have a special interest. It's like I'm doing autism wrong.

[-] avirse@feddit.uk 16 points 1 year ago

No idea whether it's their reason, but anecdotally I've found it has a few benefits. If coordinated properly it's significantly easier to train new(er) staff, it improves cross-organisational understanding to overhear other departments' conversations either at desks or in break rooms, and it stops people becoming isolated pockets of knowledge and culture because they only ever see or interact with the same one or two people.

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[-] avirse@feddit.uk 14 points 1 year ago

Given the context of the article, the alternative suggestion isn't "set up your own server" but "use software that doesn't require a server", which sidesteps most of that list.

[-] avirse@feddit.uk 27 points 1 year ago

Because the number of people who won't buy it because of the LCD screen is smaller than the number of additional people who will buy it if it's $X cheaper at launch.

[-] avirse@feddit.uk 14 points 1 year ago

This is what smartphones are for. Take picture of clothing item. Take picture of clothing item tag. Save pictures in a "clothes" folder that is synced and/or backed up elsewhere and reference them as needed.

[-] avirse@feddit.uk 23 points 1 year ago

"Skill regression" is such an awful term. It would be like taking a severe workaholic who is getting stress ulcers, having them develop a proper work-life balance, and calling that "productivity regression".

[-] avirse@feddit.uk 14 points 1 year ago

I'll maybe believe a release date when it's actually announced,. Maybe. Though I already know I'm buying the Switch successor if it's backwards compatible with Switch games, so it would be nice if this article turned out to be true.

[-] avirse@feddit.uk 18 points 1 year ago

This has turned out to be a huge wall of text, sorry.

Most autistic communities recognise that an official diagnosis is hard to get and not always helpful/necessary, so while it's wise not to say as much out in the rest of the world, it's completely valid to self-identify within an autistic space.

Feeling like you're faking the whole thing is so normal. I didn't have a self-identification journey before being diagnosed as an adult, and for the first two years after that diagnosis still felt like I wasn't actually autistic and the assessors made a mistake, or not autistic enough to "count" and give myself accommodation. It comes from a lifetime of learning that your experiences are "wrong", that you "can't trust" your own interpretations of the world around you, that you could do anything a neurotypical person can do if you just try. We late-identified are raised to doubt ourselves. It's often no one's fault, but it still takes a lot of unlearning.

What you do now is start regularly checking in with your senses. Are you feeling tense because you've been ignoring a too-bright light or an irritating noise or an uncomfortable piece of clothing? Removing those kinds of subconscious distractions is a huge relief, whether that's with headphones, earplugs, sunglasses, baseball hats, whatever works. Are you hungry/thirsty/sitting in a really uncomfortable way and haven't realised it? Solve those needs.

Then look into stimming. Physical or mental actions that you feel an urge to do and find calming. They don't have to be "weird" or socially unacceptable - spinning a pen, fiddling with a paperclip, chewing gum, twisting bracelets/wristbands/rings, squeezing a stress ball, wearing clothing that puts pressure in certain places (e.g. I wear dresses with a waist belt for pressure on my abdomen) are all possible stims. Even if it sounds completely unnecessary, try a bunch of thing and see what makes you feel safe and calm.

Chances are that if you're autistic you'll have a lot more mental energy after discovering your sensory sensitivities and stims, because it's not all going into trying to ignore all the discomforts.

The social side is less straightforward, and to be honest I've not figured it out yet. People say masking is damaging and should be avoided at all costs, but those costs can be significant. I've tried to go the route of not masking stims (having found subtle ones that work) and unapologetically wearing sunglasses indoors, but still put on the mask when it comes to communication, tone of voice, facial expressions and the like. Because my aim is to be understood, not to take a stand for all autism-kind, and the relief of meeting my sensory needs frees up a lot of the mental energy for it. Maybe that's the wrong approach, but it's the one that poses the least risk to my comfort.

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This may just be a "me thing", but a decluttering-related musing I'd like to share in case it resonates with anyone else.

'what is "historicity"?'

'When a thing has history in it. Listen. One of those two Zippo lighters was in Franklin D. Roosevelt's pocket when he was assassinated. And one wasn't. One has historicity, a hell of a lot of it. As much as any object ever had. And one has nothing .... You can't tell which is which. There's no "mystical plasmic presence", no "aura" around it.

- The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick, pages 65-66

The Man in the High Castle is an excellent, weird book, but I've noticed that the concept of "historicity" is present in much more mundane places than the kind of cultural artifacts it's used in reference to in the book. Like in family heirlooms and some of my own "sentimental" items.

An example, I have a "sentimental trinkets" box on my bedside table. Inside, I had a toy that I played with as a small child over 25 years ago, but I didn't have any specific memories attached to it. I just knew I'd had it decades and moved continents with it, so I assumed it was precious. In hindsight it wasn't sentimental at all, it was the historicity that made me keep it. So I stopped keeping it.

Another toy in that box that I'd also had over 25 years has a specific memory and story attached and makes me smile when I think about it, but it's not even the same toy that features in the memory. And because the primary association is with that story and that memory, I don't think of it as "a toy I've had since I was 4", I think of it as "the toy bought to replace the identical one I lost in the ocean and picked up a live crab while searching for it".

As a lover of museums and archeology I don't think historicity is a bad concept to value when it's on a more grand, cultural scale, but within one lifetime I've learned to appreciate the distinction and let go of things that aren't actually valuable.

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I came across this article from 2018 and it really spoke to me as a late-diagnosed autistic only just learning what "comfortable" feels like.

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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by avirse@feddit.uk to c/declutter@lemmy.world

And advice on how to combat them.

There's also a part 2 with 3 more things

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submitted 1 year ago by avirse@feddit.uk to c/declutter@lemmy.world

While the video is titled "home organisation" it has some good decluttering tips. Also I just love her.

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submitted 1 year ago by avirse@feddit.uk to c/declutter@lemmy.world

This video was linked in the declutter community on squabbles.io, and makes for good inspiration. Plus he's just quite nice to listen to.

[-] avirse@feddit.uk 15 points 1 year ago

I use earplugs, sunglasses, and hoodies. I may look ridiculous with hood up and sunglasses on a cloudy day, but it feels like a bubble of safety.

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The goal for this list is a collection of resources and challenges that can be used/done for free, without having to sign up for anything like a mailing list (though you can always use 10 minute mail for the downloads that require an email address). That said, the sites linked will have paid options and/or mailing lists that they would no doubt very much like you to join, so be warned.

Resources


Challenges


The 30-Day Minimalism Game - The Minimalists
Challenge overview: Starting on the 1st of the month, you declutter a number of items equal to the day of the month. Day 1 = 1 item, Day 2 = 2 items, Day 3 = 3 items etc. for 30 days (or as long as you can keep it up). After 30 days you would have decluttered 465 items. The gentle start eases you into the decluttering and builds as your own ability to recognise what you can declutter improves.

Another popular option is to do it backwards, i.e. Day 1 = 30 items, Day 2 = 29 items, Day 3 = 28 items etc. Some people find this easier as you can get some quick momentum with the initial enthusiasm for the challenge, then as things to declutter become harder to find you don't need to find as many.

Yearly Decluttering Challenge - Nourishing Minimalism
Challenge overview: Over the course of the year, declutter the same number of items as the year, so for 2022 that's a target of 2022 items. Starting on 1st Jan that would be just under 6 items per day.

Nourishing Minimalism encourages you to print off a tally chart* and be flexible with filling in the boxes - if something is particularly difficult to declutter it can count as more than one, if a whole pile of things is too much to count just block off an estimate etc.

*The chart linked in the blog post requires providing an email address, which I assume adds you to their mailing list though I don't specifically remember. I've not had my email address passed to any 3rd parties by Nourishing Minimalism, but it's not hard to come up with your own way to record your progress so likely not worth it if you're not interested in the blog.

The Decluttering Cure - Apartment Therapy
Challenge overview: For 14 days, do their prescribed task, alternating between decluttering a room/category and more abstract "do something that will prevent future clutter" tasks. The idea is to sign up to the mailing list and receive an email with each task, but the link above is to the "catch-up" page which lists them all, saving you from the spam*.
See also: The January Cure for a 20-weekday decluttering/home management challenge starting on 1st Jan and The Holiday Cure for a cleaning-before-Christmas version.

*While I've not had my email address passed to any 3rd parties by Apartment Therapy, they did automatically sign me up to their own mailing list after the January Cure ended. And again after the Decluttering Cure ended, despite having removed myself before. If you're not interested in being signed up for daily emails, don't give them your address.

Decluttering Bursts - Be More With Less
Challenge overview: Grab a trash bag and a donate box and working for 60 minutes find 100 things to get rid of. The linked blog post has suggested item counts from suggested areas for inspiration, and includes digital items in the suggestions.

30 Day Category-Based Challenges

Challenge overview: There are a lot of these. In each case the challenge is to declutter one category each day for 30 days. These often work best if you decide on a period of time to declutter each day (e.g. half an hour) as the categories won't all be similar amounts of effort which could cause burn out on tricky days.

The ones listed here are just those I've found where the category list is freely accessible.

30 Days to Minimalism - Pick up Limes (& video)
The list is in a PDF (no email required) which contains finer descriptions and "tips" on most days. The categories cover both physical and non-physical things, and are individual-focused, no family/pet categories.

30-Day Declutter Challenge - DIY Candy
The list is in a PDF (no email required). The categories in this list are less granular than the Pick up Limes list, and include Pet Supplies and Kid-related days. The linked blog post also lists a number of decluttering approaches with pros/cons, which isn't a bad resource in itself.

30 Day Decluttering Challenge - Simple Lionheart Life
The list is in the linked blog post. Categories are more individual-focused, but the list breaks down some of the potentially larger categories.

30 Day Declutter Challenge - Balance through Simplicity
The list is in the linked blog post. The categories are individual-focused and a mix of physical and non-physical and "instructions" that apply beyond just the day in question. Could be useful for habit-forming.

30 Day Declutter Challenge - List Obsessed
The list is in both the linked blog post and a PDF (no email required). Categories include Kids and jump around various home areas more than some of the others here.


[-] avirse@feddit.uk 17 points 1 year ago

There's also no shortage of people who have been on waiting lists for years for a diagnosis.

Mine took almost 4 years between referral and assessment. Two of my friends have been waiting two and four years respectively when both were told the list was "about 18 months long", with medical professionals asking the latter if they're sure they want to keep waiting, trying to get them to come off the list. And this is an area that has shorter wait times than average for the country.

When you're dealing with that kind of scarcity of diagnosis it's not reasonable to dismiss anyone who has self-identified out of hand. Of course there are and have always been pretenders and misguided teens who want to feel special, but I also wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that a lot of those are some kind of neurodivergent and that desire to feel special is born of trying to find a "right fit" in a world that feels wrong.

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