Sure everyone has heard of Stephen King and most know know of Dean Koontz. But 10 year old me wants to give a shout out to the best of em, R.L. Stine.

Still held down? What a monster.

The sample size is way too small.

All American Waste Services Inc. surveyed 1,277 people from around the United States, asking them two questions: “How often do you poop?” and “In which state do you live?”

Jfc. That was too much. Get to the point. Eat the rich.

Wow I'm 6 of those 9 types of people. Extra milk and cookies for Santa from now on.

Show me your nipple!

Yummy. I was shoulder deep in that fuzz today. Seasoned with spiders and mouse poop. Extra delish.

There's a meme from some other site about being old and telling the tale of 2016 to an inquisitive youth. If i remember correctly, it goes along the lines of:

Oh you you wanna hear about 2016? Takes 3 shots of tequila Well it all started in 2015 with this gorilla...

Everything since has been a fucking wild ride. Past couple of years have been relatively tame thankfully. But I can't help feeling like that story arc is not yet finished and it leaves me feeling apprehensive about the conclusion.

There's a reason for it, or at least an explanation for the odd color scheme. I don't exactly remember cuz I heard it on NPR in the background. It goes something like red is bad, purple is really bad, and the people coming up with the color scheme never imagined something really really bad so maroon(red+brown) was just suggested for really really bad. And the smoke has gotten past really really bad in some places.

https://www.npr.org/2023/06/28/1184894545/how-purple-came-to-be-a-scarier-color-than-red-on-the-air-quality-index

Ooh la la Mr. Fancy I Have A Toilet Man. No, WATER, like from a puddle on the sidewalk.

Is there a joke in that comment or did the irony blow past me before I could suck it up?

My grandfather gave me three options when I was young and slightly hurt. "I can hurt the other one, amputate the one that hurts, or you can go to bed."