idk what I'm looking for from this post. But I'm honestly fine with how my face looks. But unless I look feminine, most bi-women are going to keep assuming I want to dom and top without even asking (aka treat me like a man...). Lesbians won't be attracted to me. 99% of people won't perceive me as a women and interact the same they do with other women

I think I can get FFS lined up in some months but I feel extremely weird changing my face so drastically and suddenly. I'm dissociating extremely hard rn just thinking about it. I can't imagine how bad it'd be after the surgeries. I feel like I'd lose a big part of my identity. I'm deathly afraid of looking into a mirror and not recognizing the face staring back at me

There's something about the face being by far the premier identifier for human beings here. Because if they were easy/safe, I totally would get surgeries to contract my shoulders and ribcage in an instant LOL

Honestly, so much of what I do to transition is just so the world will interact with me like a woman. I also quite like my "natural" deep heavy 75hz voice tbh. But I'm still voice training at a light valley girl 200-250hz range because I can't look masculine and have that deep a voice for people to treat me like a woman. At least the voice training is okay though, it was something that I developed in steps + I can still talk nearly the same as I did previously when I want so I don't feel divorced from who I am

Gender in its current form is so fucking stupid I want something like what some indigenous cultures had