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Basic American etiquette
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2024
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There's not nearly enough butter on that toast, not enough eggs, and where's the sausage? In Florida the breakfast gun goes on the dominant side with the grip out. Once alcohol is served the slide will be locked back. In particularly liberal circles the magazines will also be popped out. We aren't savages.
Are you crazy? The safety will be on, clip in.
This is going to get so Florida, so I'm sorry. Most of the people I know who carry daily carry guns without safeties, so that just wouldn't work. Also, it's literally a mark of distinction between "responsible gun owners" and irresponsible ones that before the alcohol comes out all the guns are made conspicuously safe, unless the person is a designated non drinker. They would take on the unspoken responsibility of being armed and vigilant for the rest of the group. This will happen discreetly in mixed company, but likely conspicuously if everyone present carries a gun.
And anyone committing the faux pas of calling a magazine a clip would get a polite correction, and if repeated they wouldn't be invited next time.
Army here. After getting out, it took me a VERY long time and a lot of mental struggle to start calling magazines "clips" in passing conversation, just to troll everyone at the range.
The toast is wrong for Florida though, we'd have Cuban bread.
The bacon though - we went to La Teresita here for breakfast, my kids ordered bacon and they brought them a whole bowl full of bacon to share.
They glory in the bounty of food. I went to a Cuban restaurant with a friend who was vegetarian. The staff just flat couldn't understand the concept. Why wouldn't you eat meat if it was available?
Constantokra? Could you have a word with my okra plants? They have not flowered yet, are flourishing in the heat but no okra. I planted fewer because in years past we couldn't keep up with them, but this year they hesitate? We want constant okra.
Everyone wants constantokra, but only a select few can achieve it.
I went to edit the post and fat-finger deleted it. Basically I said I'm not that far from Florida and regional differences are wild. More than that, but I just finished dinner after a brisk walk in not-as-hot but thick-with-humidity-and-mosquitos air and I'm going to be lazy while I enjoy cold water.
Sorry but toast is made from bread. That there would be legally called cake in large swathes of the planet
No it wouldn't.
Even in France, arguably the biggest of the bread snobs, they call American style white bread: pain de mie (soft bread) and they call it pain grillé (toasted bread).
This is just standard regular sliced bread.
Actually American stuff is illegal in the EU, preservatives, bleaches, dyes, whatnot. What's allowed to be called what will differ from country to country and you are not the biggest bread snobs, you're just the most vocally snobbish.
In Germany there's Toastbrot, actual bread though noone in their right mind would eat it without toasting first, then bigger and thicker and fluffier slices which are considered an "American-style" style of toast (again: don't eat them raw ewww) but as said not the real deal. Those latter ones may or may not be legally bread, it's usually hidden in the fine print while the big print is "sandwich slices" or something. Thing is the stuff needs to be made from 90% flour, sugar+fat together max 10%, and if you want something that's recognisable to Americans as bread you need to blow that limit.
Oh and all are bound to use a proper sourdough process, over-engineered as it may be in an industrial setting they're giving the dough enough time to actually pre-digest itself.
I actually looked this up; wonderbread has 2.5 grams of sugar per 30g slice!
Fuckin hell
The worst offender I could find in France was Harry's American bread. 1.2 grams of sugar per 40g slice
In Ireland, if bread has more than 2 grams of sugar per 100g, it's cake and is taxed as such
No, we're talking America here. That's not nearly enough butter. It needs to cover basically the whole face of the toast.
Unironically yes.
Indeed, as an American I feel it would only be exaggeration if the whole face of the toast was covered in so much butter that it's white.
Why wouldn’t you want butter over the whole face of the toast? What kind of monster are you?
The kind of monster who toasts my toast on the lowest setting, but still uses a full coat of butter.
I was thinking the opposite: who needs the: toast, egg, or plates underneath - the coffee is mandatory though. Bacon on a paper towel needs less clean-up afterwards. :-P