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ur dada so buff he falls significantly faster than g
(mander.xyz)
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So let's just look at that again. The bowling ball's (mass m1) acceleration is GM/R². The feather's is also GM/R². They have the exact same acceleration, which is g. I'm not sure where you're getting that the bowling bowl accelerates slower. Meanwhile in the bowling ball's case the Earth's acceleration is higher, as you already said. This results in less free fall time overall.
The acceleration relative to the earth is the same, relative to some point from another system the bowling ball accelerates very slightly slower but accelerates the earth very slightly more towards it. The total acceleration of these two bodies towards each other is g.
Yeah you're making that statement but it's not true. Their acceleration relative to an inertial reference frame is g. That's what the law of universal gravitation says, I have no idea where you're getting that stuff from.