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this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
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Oh boy, I can't wait to not be able to afford my medication for my autoimmune disease and die by vomiting blood until I exsanguinate! Thanks abstainers!
Make sure to aim at a Republican when you vom.
It's pretty gruesome. Black and thick, like charcoal dust. I hope whatever fascist I die on is scarred for life.
Damn, I just get internal scarring and organ failure. The blood cannon sounds way cooler.
The obviousness of it literally saved my life. Last time it happened I was still in college and living at home. Threw up in the bathroom, and weakly staggered to my room, thinking it was dark because I'd drank a cola just before. I was ready to lay there and fall asleep until I felt better.
My mother, luckily, was home, noticed that there was half-washed out black slurry in the toilet and sink, recognized it as blood, unlike me at the time, and worriedly asked me if everything was alright. I said, "Yeah, mom, I'm fine, just a little nauseous." and she said fuck no, that's not cutting it, we're taking you to the hospital.
I had to get blood transfusions. They weren't sure I was going to make it. If I'd passed out on the floor of my room like I intended to wait it out, I'd've probably died. Gave my poor mother a terrible fright.
That is hard fuckin core
Isn't it? I'm glad I got a disease with cool symptoms and not just pooping myself to death, dysentery style. This way I at least have a cool story I can tell XD
Well damn it, why the fuck did I get the 'can't eat food' disease when I could have had an awesome 'projectile vomiting blood' disease?!
Unfortunately, it comes with some "don't eat food" restrictions. I love buffalo chicken, but it has to be a rare and prepared for treat. 😞
As someone who has an entirely liquid-based diet, I would love just some food restrictions. Plus, I don't get to projectile vomit blood.
I do look good after losing all this weight though, so I guess that's nice.
Ah, damn, that's some shit.
It's been a fun couple of years.
metal
Better scream something at them right before:
"Hail Satan"
"My woke mind virus must spread"
"I bathe thee in communist red"
Y'know something along those lines
"Remember, Grandfather Nurgle loves you."
Have you tried not having a pre-existing condition?
They’ll say this is a feature not a bug.
Yeah well, but you don't like them anyway, so it's a win for them!
(Very sarcastic /s, because American healthcare is a bad joke and everybody deserves a good life).
Edit:
Except those assholes. They can masturbate with a running blender.
It's OK, if RFK Jr goes ahead and eliminates vaccines and infectious disease research, as he has stated he will, it's likely something else will kill us first.
Hey! Cause of death can’t be of a disease if they can’t test for it taps temple
"Cause of death: Act of God"