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[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 95 points 1 month ago

How exactly does masturbating prevent you from military service?

[-] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 145 points 1 month ago
[-] MaggiWuerze@feddit.org 58 points 1 month ago

And your hands get all hairy

[-] Olgratin_Magmatoe@lemmy.world 44 points 1 month ago
[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

How is babby formed?

[-] theangryseal@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

Oh, and your rifle gets all slippery!

[-] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 13 points 1 month ago

Can I do it till I need glasses? lol

[-] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

They’ll just give you government issue glasses

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

Yup, gotta keep at it until you can't see the screen anymore. AFAIK, the military doesn't do braille.

[-] Joncash2@lemmy.ml 45 points 1 month ago

This is just a poor translation. It's a colloquialism to say you're jacking off when you're lazy and doing nothing. In fact, it's the same colloquialism in English. We literally say the exactly same thing when we call someone useless. What's really interesting in my opinion is you already know this. Yet because it's from a translation and you know that, your brain didn't think about the colloquialisms. It's kind of crazy how our brains work.

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 36 points 1 month ago

I'm aware of the colloquialism but I also thought that this is something Chinese party officials might plausibly say. You know, something something Western decadence.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

I thought the same. Isn’t the party kind of anti porn?

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

Decadence isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe masturbation.

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Sex shouldn’t be for fun. It is work for procreation of the superior culture. That time jacking off could have been spent contributing to the GDP.

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

+100 social credit

[-] psud@aussie.zone 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

If it weren't fun there would be no humans

Perhaps we should be paid to fap so it does contribute to the GDP

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Are you a CPC official?

[-] nuke@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

That's boring tho lets go with the masturbation jokes

[-] S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago

Leave a man idle enough time and he'll end up masturbating that's where the relationship goes to the colloquialism for everyone. I cna tell you in Spanish we use the same colloquialism.

[-] OwlPaste@lemmy.world 33 points 1 month ago

When the mortar tube is clogged with cum...

[-] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

And that's how you learned the company Fleshlight has a hole in the back.

[-] taladar@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 month ago

Post-nut clarity makes you realize what a bad idea joining the military would be.

[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

After a good fap I realised that this is the most plausible explanation.

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

Hold on, I'm almost there.

[-] TragicNotCute@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

When they won’t get their dicks out of their hands in formation, it’s very distracting for others.

[-] Successful_Try543@feddit.org 10 points 1 month ago

They are too exhausted from masturbating to pass the fitness test.

[-] njm1314@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Something something male essence

[-] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I don't avoid women Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence

this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2024
1102 points (99.6% liked)

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