Honestly, I can see how the conclusion follows from the incredibly fucked premise.

A common assumption in society is that if you are a virgin past a certain age, it must be because you're a completely repulsive, inferior human being. Having sex thus becomes the only way to prove that you have some sort of redeeming value, that you aren't some subhuman abomination. Sex with a prostitute doesn't confer this humanizing legitimacy because a prostitute doesn't really want to have sex with you; they're just willing to put up with doing so for money, much in the same way that a sewer worker is willing to wade in feces for a paycheck.

I'm glad you clawed your way out of that space

I'm sorry if I am wrong, but it doesn't seem to me like there is any "moving of the goal posts" or "painful fucked up logic" here. It is not at all strange or weird or wrong to want to be wanted for yourself. There seems to me to be a clear difference between sex with an intimate partner who also desires sex with you for the sake of it, and the clearly transactional nature of employing the services of a sex worker. It is only if we buy into the patriarchal misogynistic transactional logic of the incel themselves that these two acts are at all comparable. (sorry if there is some misogynistic logic in my argument or if there is something I am missing here (please tell me if there is), but I just really don't know how to read your posts in any other way (edit: like i can't read your post in any other way than it criticizing incels for not following through in their misogynistic logic, as if that logic in itself wasn't the problem to begin with))