this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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Spoiler
Finally looking at the local queer events and I once again have a bunch of conflictsI once again ask, how the fuck and when the fuck am I supposed to be making friends
I really need there to be explicit "well, I guess that makes us friends" kinds of moments or, I shit you not, I will not make any inferences from the interaction. I'll assume you meant well but would ultimately rather never see me again.
If you indicate that you will see me around, or express interest in future plans, that's pretty clear too, although if we don't set it up then, I don't really know if you meant it. I myself don't feel this agency in most situations, because I assume that the other person is more in the position to say "I like this person, the interaction shall continue". Like I have less of an opinion, somehow, or less of a say?
I can't do the lonely thing my whole life like some people can. This is gonna whittle me down.
spoiler
I had told you once a while ago, but imagine you meet someone with your same attitude. Looking for a friend, a deep friend, a daily texting friend, going to events friend, checking in friend, who likes most of the same stuff you do - you two could never actually become friends because you'll both assume the other doesnt want to hang out and won't text each other first! It is scary, there is a lot of vulnerability, you might have had bad history with it, but you do have to initiate conversations sometimes. Passivity will not get what you seem to want, which does suck - I wanna empathize I understand the fear.Also, youre older in college right? Gen Z has a lot of anxiety - at least what I've noticed. They have issues reaching out and are often lonely too. I guess you must feel quite strange sometimes among younger people. There probably is a group for >25 year old at college, maybe not that explicit. When I went back for my nursing degree, I definitely had an easier time connecting with other people in their 30s or late 20s. I hope you can find some people you can vibe with and trust and feel connected too.
Spoiler
I don't know how to initiate, I can say about two words before I either get brain fog or sentences like "you girl, can I be gender like you? I want to be in the friend way of it"Like I will stand there and stare at the person until the interaction ends. I do not know what to say, frequently.