this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2025
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Friends sometimes complain that they're too big, too short, too tall, etc. I think they're all fine, and want to let them know that. My problem is that I'm a middle aged guy and and I don't want to give off any whiff that I'm flirting with anyone. I just want to tell people that they're perfect and good the way they are. Are there safe ways to say it?

I feel like this is a thing that easier to do if you're a woman? (sorry if I'm wrong)

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[โ€“] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

great question. no idea. I never know how to react to comments on my appearance and always feel embarrassed for being seen in that context.

because of this, i never say anything about personal aesthetics unless solicited, and even then I'll keep my response limited to like a thumbs up or some other subtle approval.

if it's stuff like too tall/too short, I talk about the functional advantage of those forms. reach vs. safer back etc.

I generally operate under the assumption that nobody really cares what I personally find aesthetically appealing. experience has only ever confirmed this.

[โ€“] ratboy@hexbear.net 4 points 10 months ago

I really like this approach, because then you're not commenting on the persons body or saying that they aren't right or wrong. Like if I were insecure about being super short I would probably laugh if someone said something like "you have a low center of gravity and could take your enemies out easy by going for the knees" or something like that lol