this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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Y'know, when I signed up for this back in June I had grand plans for some grand writeup on the domestically produced unmagnified gunsights of Cuba. I had collected images and info and sources but I lost sight of it as life stuff happened and my time for the trans mega snuck up on me.
Que sera sera.
Anyways, today felt like the first whisper (you have no idea how hard I just thought about the ideal word for this metaphor) of autumn and that put me in the mood for one of my favorite autumnal albums. More Constant Than the Gods by SubRosa is a really lovely doom? sludge? metal album. I like how big it sounds. The lead vocalist is a really talented lady, and its got violins, also the lyrics talk about dying and stuff and I'm into that. Its very fall-y to me, as is Standard Time Volume 1 by Wynton Marsalis, but for extremely different reasons.
The funny thing is that, like the poster of the previous mega it is also my 5th transiversary, I started HRT half a decade ago today (ok technically it was the 17th but I'm gonna count it since thats when I started writing this). Now, I don't think that taking HRT was what made me "officially trans", rather it was the degree of self acceptance required to get to that point. It's a long story, and one I prefer to share privately, but it took a very, very long time before my fear and desperation gave me the strength to allow myself to have this. I think it all turned out pretty well, I experience existence in much higher fidelity, I'm this whole person, along with everything that entails.
I feel very blessed to be transgender.
I hope you all stay safe and have a good, or atleast tolerable week.
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I'm a big old chicken!
We went to visit friends in the next (blue) state over but they live in the country, so the conservative area. I have not really left the safe bubble of my very blue city since transitioning. I thought it would be fine until we got to the first middle of nowhere gas station and i couldn't go in to use the restroom. I kept picturing some woman yelling at me for being in the wrong bathroom and I couldn't do it. I couldn't make myself go anywhere i spent the whole vacation at the house. So that's something i'm going to have to work on and i have no idea how except to 'get over it'. Trauma has left me very conflict avoidant so i'm going to have to figure out how to micro dose bathroom trips or something.
Personally, Ive found the more rural and conservative the easier it is to pass. I might get clocked more in the city but people are nice about it or say "wow youre so beautiful and so brave" and no one's ever given me shit for using the bathroom but in the rural areas I'm just another woman. I can't tell you why, like I remember hearing from older trans folks that it was way easier to pass in the 90s or earlier cause people just literally didnt know you could trans your gender - so maybe thats why? Or maybe its a rural politeness thing? Regardless, thats been my experience. Its still kind of scary, I dont wanna downplay the anxiety of it all
thanks for saying that it does help and i'll try to bear it in mind!
Wait until the Mennonites or whatever start asking you if you have a husband or have kids lol
To build off of what TerminalEncounter was saying, I can personally attest that the atmosphere isn't accepting but it can often be permissive environment for trans people.
Most of these people have a wildly innacurate stereotype of transfeminine people in their head, something more "Rocky Horror meets Fox and Friends" than anything resembling reality. Many have never met a trans person before at all unless they have a transgender relative. By and large these people can't clock because they don't know what to look for.
Theres been a couple of times where someone has said incredibly transphobic things because they thought I was cis and wanted to talk mad shit about "those [Slur] in the schools these days" or something. It is profoundly satisfying to go "Sir/Ma'am, I am transgender." Bigots are by and large cowards who will only try shit if they feel they are coming from a position of total superiority, which they often are not.
Now, obviously you are in a more reactionary environment in these places, so its not 100% safe but you're going to be safer than you might expect.
Spoilered for appearance shaming
Ok so this is like, really really mean but people out here tend to be... not as hot as their urbanite counterparts. I think this helps with passing quite a bit.thank you! That is very helpful these are good perspectives for me to try and hold.
fingers crossed that next time i'm out i can do it!