this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2026
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me_irl
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hey baby how low are your standards (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞
I used to think they had finally arrived at "tits, pulse (optional)", but when faced with that, I bailed because I could not stand that person. Turns out they are more "I can listen to that person without getting the urge to run"... Damn brain overriding my dick.
I buried my standard years ago and mfs out here digging tunnels playing limbo with the bare minimum 😮💨
It's weird, because I've found looking for people to date very difficult. But I've found looking for people to chill with and have fun comparatively easy.
And occasionally, that friendship turns into a romance, which is an added bonus.
I really haven’t bothered to date in years for above stated reasons. When I meet new people, my intent is usually to get to know them and try to connect in some way. People tend to push to partner up or fuck within a few weeks of meeting and it’s almost invariably a resounding no from me. After that, ime, people don’t usually care to hang/ get to or get to know each other and either ghost or play endless phone tag until it’s not worth continuing. Add in me being a trans woman and the fact that 90% of men I meet online love to open with dick pics, VERY explicit flirting, or awkward confessional questions… and the men I meet irl are…. 😮💨 it’s like they’re racing the bar to the center of the earth.
There have been two people that I ended up with a much deeper connection with than expected over the last 3-4 years or so and both of those have turned into beautiful lasting friendships. Those are cherished and fulfilling in their own right but deeper romance feels like a pipe dream at this point.
So, I'll admit I'm an Elder Millennial with a more archaic experience. But I did notice that hooking up (or trying to) inside the first three dates was a bad sign for the relationship.
That said, I've also found - personally and through friends - that you kinda have to mix and mingle until you find someone who clicks. And most people won't. But the ones that do - even if the relationship doesn't last - are people you can keep being friends with for the rest of your life.
I'll also say that attitudes around monogamy - especially early in a relationship - are all the fuck over the place. "Wait, are we exclusive or not?" is a conversation that has ended badly for a lot of people I know.
I mean that's about my average as well. Every couple of years I meet someone I really connect with. And then the game becomes finding time to be with these people as often as possible (which distance and free time, etc, can complicate).
But over a lifetime? That can add up to a lot of people. And you really only need one to click hard enough to be a spouse