this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2026
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I've never done poly, so I'm an outsider, but I wonder if those would work better when all people involved 'stop' their default relationships a bit beforehand, to reset it so to say, and agree all beforehand to start and treat each other then on equal terms.
Personally, I thought that a poly that arises from an originally mono relationship, is bound to have one of the three feel like a third wheel, rather than a true relationship triangle (where everyone loves all involved). And then it'll dissolve.
as @TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone said below, a strength is that those involved could feel freed from the worry of "do they cheat on me or not". i think it might be similar to an open relationship in that regard.
So many people make the mistake of opening up a relationship to save it, and a poly relationship started that way is usually a bad idea. In that case, there are usually deeper problems in the relationship and it was already doomed to fail. Ideally there is the expectation of being poly or the expectation that relationship could be poly from the beginning.
All that said, it isn't necessary for every person in the relationship to be equally close. Some might be better off serving emotional needs for each other, while others might be mainly sexual. So long as everyone is on board with the depth of their relationships, it isn't a problem. Like with any relationship, it's all about open and honest communication.