Chapotraphouse

I like to drain the can, rinse them off a couple of times, throw them in a microwave-safe bowl with some seasonings (cumin, thyme, oregano, paprika, cayenne, maybe some turmeric) and like a tablespoon or so of oil. Mix well, cover, and then nuke that for about 30-45 seconds on high. Then I'll stir them and nuke again on medium heat for maybe a minute and a half, and voila -- beanis. The trick is to press the little bastards out to the sides of the bowl so that you have a somewhat thin (no more than 1-2 beans deep) layer all around; it helps them cook more evenly in the microwave.

This is my go-to "fuck it, I don't want to cook" recipe.