chickpea anxiety
this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2025
117 points (100.0% liked)
Chapotraphouse
14288 readers
769 users here now
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Slop posts go in c/slop. Don't post low-hanging fruit here.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
The “everyone is twelve now” hypothesis strikes again.
Fascists the type of guys to have an episode all about learning vegetables aren’t scary.
"Beanis anxiety isn't real."
Beanis anxiety posting from an obscure liberal podcast outdoor cat forum:
biblically accurate beanis 👁️
Dat's dis one:
BEAN NOT AFRAID
Chickpea anxiety is what my kids get when I put chickpeas in the food.
Chickpea anxiety is apparently being anxious that you don't have enough chickpeas, so you buy more at the store even though you have enough at home. Tbh I don't really think it's much of a real thing.
How is this even a problem? It's not like chickpeas are gonna spoil, they're either dried or canned, so having more chickpeas at home just means you have more chickpeas to eat and an emergency food supply. It's win/win
All of my rent money has gone to chickpeas, every month since I was born. Some of us are really struggling, y'know.
But when the lights go out? You'll be ready.
I looked it up on Google, and all of the results are either from the New York Times or reference the New York Times. It sounds like they desperately want to make chickpea anxiety a thing.
NYT trying to manufacture consent to wage war on hummus
the sort of thing said by someone who gets all the chickpeas
some of us are struggling here
Yeah, that's just anxiety...
I understand it can be intimidating, but just put a plastic sheet down and then some towels on top of that, makes clean up easy.
Coat them in oil and salt and put them in the oven for like 40~ minutes and then they're like healthy corn nuts.
What temperature?
I did it at 400 when I made some for a brussel sprouts dish that called for roasted chickpeas.
Yeah around 400, I found a recipe where they cook for 25 minutes and stir then stick them back in the oven while it's off before adding the oil/seasoning that I'm gonna give a shot here today.
So I maybe burned them a little at 400, would recommend 350 probably unless you're good at checking them every 10~ minutes to stir.
I like to drain the can, rinse them off a couple of times, throw them in a microwave-safe bowl with some seasonings (cumin, thyme, oregano, paprika, cayenne, maybe some turmeric) and like a tablespoon or so of oil. Mix well, cover, and then nuke that for about 30-45 seconds on high. Then I'll stir them and nuke again on medium heat for maybe a minute and a half, and voila -- beanis. The trick is to press the little bastards out to the sides of the bowl so that you have a somewhat thin (no more than 1-2 beans deep) layer all around; it helps them cook more evenly in the microwave.
This is my go-to "fuck it, I don't want to cook" recipe.
This works great in an air fryer too. 400F for 18-20 minutes depending on how crunchy you want to go
When life gives you chickpea anxiety, you make hummus anxiety
I have 11 cans of chickpeas in the cupboard right now. I know because I counted them all yesterday. Is that chickpea anxiety?