Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they can understand, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to: !unclejokes@lemmy.world
Adult topics with which to be cautious or avoided: drugs, sex, death, racism.
Must post text, image (e.g., meme), or direct link. Do not post external links that cannot be viewed directly from the community (e.g., link to joke website, Facebook, Instagram, etc.)
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-21

The English language is incomplete (lemmy.today)

submitted 2 days ago by altphoto@lemmy.today to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world

16 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'll give you an example:

In court someone might say that this is "here" say. But they never call something "there" say. It's like the phrase is waiting for a definition. The witness "may" say something or "may" do something. But you know what? You never here them the witness "June" say or "February" do anything at all! The Titanic never called a "September day" and in WW2 there was no special day in October.

C'mon! There I say, I January some writing tomorrow, but if I may January that, it means a totally different thing.

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[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 7 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I'm sleep deprived.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Hi, sleep deprived. I'm dad! (See how that works?)

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Morning dad! I thought you passed away! How have you been all these years?

[–] crazycraw@crazypeople.online 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

"oh, ya know, can't complain."

we're not allowed to.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I wouldn't know what you might be talking about. I live in a free country where everyone can say what's in their mind without fear of repercussions....None of this is true unless that's what our overlord the orangeness wants me to think today. Otherwise yeah totally free to say anything that doesn't go against the pedo church and it's big fat orange jesus

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The key to a proper dad joke is that it can be thrown out deadpan in a single line, maybe two. You can get by with a little setup of course, but once you're essentially doing a bit, you're monologueing, and that's the opposite of what a dad joke is.

Remember that the classic dad joke is "dad, I'm hungry" "hi hungry, I'm dad"

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 1 points 2 days ago

Not true! I play on words that sound the seem all time and my kids lube it!

So they don't, but that's what dads do.

[–] ajoebyanyothername@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Fair.