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This question might be too abstract. But it seems like people look for different aspects in romantic relationships. There are the ones that are drawn to opposite traits, ones seeking excitement, ones that wish for a stable anchor in their life, etc. And most of this happens subconsciously โ€“ or it does not. Maybe you have a different approach to love. Tell me about it.

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[โ€“] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

What's there to say about it? Being with someone, your best friend and also your (perhaps fundamentally somewhat incomprehensible) better half completes you. Not just emotionally speaking, but also ideologically and psychologically. Passively and actively, being with someone who you know cares deeply about you and wants you around for as long as possible makes you change for the better. Sometimes, that means just learning that women and men are different, and that you two are different, and that your preferences and annoyances are not universal and then you learn that many times people have compromised to make you happy and as such, you have to do it as well. Sometimes, it means reassessing your entire worldview and coming to terms with some psychological problems you didn't know you had but need to be addressed and treated.

Basically, romantic love is not just sweet and, to the vast majority of people, necessary for eudaimonia, but it's also a conduit for personal growth, a development you can't really have elsewhere, you kinda gotta share your life with someone in that capacity to make it happen.

PS: and oh yeah, on some level you kinda have to be different, mainly so you don't have the same blind spots. Everyone is incomplete (in many ways), it's better to be with someone who fills many gaps.