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My mom refuses to admit that she’s racist.
Oh, but when I brought a black man home, she asked me afterwards, “Why do all your boyfriends have… a tan?”
Don’t worry, I let it out on her. I’m practically 100% Slavic if my brother’s DNA test is to be trusted (it lines up with the family tree I’ve got, so yeah.) I asked if she’d rather I marry a “nice Polish boy” that I have nothing in common with, like she did, like her sisters did, like her mother did. Because why should personal compatibility matter so long as our ancestries are the same?
She backed off and hasn’t made a peep about my “tan” partners ever since.
They think compatibility comes from ethnicity. Because of shared cultural and sanguinary heritage from Poland, your likelihood of sharing the same values, life goals, sense of humor, and physical attraction with a Polish partner is higher.
While that would seem outwardly true, the reality is that most countries around the world aren't as ethnically and culturally homogeneous anymore, compared to generations past.
Personally, I think it's a good thing. Homogeneity, in nature, leads to genetic stagnation and degradation.
I get that, for my parents’ generation at least. But I’m the weirdo autistic chick that lives multiple “alternative lifestyles” simultaneously.
I don’t go to the church I was baptized in, because I’m atheist. I don’t eat the food my culture cooks, because I’m vegan. I’m a pansexual who practices polyamory. I don’t share my parents’ values, nor those of my ancestral culture.
Which is partly why I gel better with people who don’t share the “dominant” culture around us (in the US.) I get along with others who’ve been marginalized, who don’t “fit in,” who ~~want to burn down capitalism~~ have been on the “outside” for so long that we share a common bond through it. Most people I’ve dated have either been born in other countries and/or have disabilities. It makes sense for me, but from the outside it’s easy to imagine that my mom thinks I’m still “rebelling” somehow (while deep into my 30s.)
That's exactly how they think and Fox News said that out loud a few years ago.