this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2025
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Maybe it's cuz I'm an introvert, but I realized I haven't really talk to my aunts/uncles outside of family gatherings that I was forced to go to...

Like idk, older generation feels so weird... like they feel kinda intimidating...

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[–] fizzle@quokk.au 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It depends.

As you get older these kinds of relationships become more important because... for most people they're one of very few constants in life. As in, friends and even partners come and go but from the day I'm born to the day I die, my ancestors will be my ancestors, and I share that in common with extended family.

That doesn't mean you have to talk to them or keep in touch with them or go to family gatherings. It just means that even after 3 decades of not speaking to a particular uncle or aunt, they still have that background and that title.

To some people that might not have much meaning and that's fine, but to me it does mean something, although I'm not sure what exactly.

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I have this very weird "connection" to one of my aunts... like... she was the one that sponsored for my family to be in the US, so I kinda feel grateful for not having to be in China. Like she always act very "nice" towards me... idk I feel like its a flame that's too hot to touch... I'm an introvert and I don't like social butteflies being so like... saying a bunch of weird things like... how do I put it... like very personal things... like maybe its just Chinese culture, but there's no topic that's "off limits" that these relatives won't talk about (I'm talking about like the overall "family culture" vibes), even very personal stuff like your bodyweight, "omg you grew taller" then this aunt kinda tries to lectures us on stuff like how she raises her children and as if to say this is how you're supposed to be raised and your parents are raising you wrong (implied, not actually said), future and marriage stuff like "hey when you get older, you're gonna get married right?", "what do you wanna be when you grow up", "which college do you wanna go to?", "we're going on this expensive trip, do you wanna come with us" like just showing off their wealth (they're "middle class", and my family is lower on the wealth scale), and like this aunt would like constantly like to take pictures of me when I don't really like it (like not in a creepy way, its a different cultural expentations so taking pictures of kids is not considered weird, I just find it very annoying... I hate being in photos since I'm just shy af lol) like we don't see each other often...

Like idk feels like this aunt looks at me like as if I'm this very skittish kitten and just really want to like "pet" me, know what I mean...

So, me with that "skittish kitten attitude" I just feel reluctant to "be around with this human" that really wants to get close to me. But I still feel grateful to like be in this country thanks to the aunt.

[–] fizzle@quokk.au 4 points 3 days ago

Yep. I'm Australian and my partner was raised in South East Asia.

I run into similar cultural discrepancies (?) from time to time. Like in her home country it's 100% acceptable to tell someone they're overweight and everyone have a good old laugh about it.

And yeah, photos. God.

I don't really have any solutions for you I'm sorry.