Can any human domestication guide fans confirm whether this is accurate?
this post was submitted on 23 Dec 2025
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Don't forget they recreated benevolent colonial slave owners too, and made themselves the slaves. The white transfems. It's almost hilarious how pathetically clueless it is
I would think if I were a sub, I would want dommes in my community writing hot stories for me. Subs need doms. They should try to welcome dommes into the community.
Subs who hate politics writing domme characters who are only ever portrayed interacting with their subs is... well I can't possibly believe how that would actually be a gratifying story. In my experience, sex is way more fun when your partner enjoys it too.
As a sub, the thing you need to understand is that a lot of subs are bad at it. It's easy to give power up to some theoretical person who will do whatever you fantasize about without any of the guilt of asking for it or reciprocating what they want.
Including dommes introduces room for conflict, it introduces room for failure on both parts, it introduces room for you to feel bad that some of what you want is effort for your partner and that your partner may want some stuff that you may not necessarily want. It's vulnerability.
The "do-me sub" is a perennial complaint in actual kink communities. They drive off dommes, especially dominant women who aren't as comfortable saying no (and some don't bother listening to nos). They often come from online fantasy spaces filled with kink from exclusively submissive perspectives and they often make femdom spaces uncomfortable.
If anything though, the existence of a rule means there was a perceived need for one. Often online kinks like this have no such rule because nobody has burst their bubbles by telling stories about dommes dealing with illness or workplace discrimination or being harassed by the cops and how that would impact a d/s dynamic. No they're little worlds of minor kings and queens, escapist fantasies in which every dominant is perfectly in control and perfectly in tune with their sub. This rule means that the target audience saw this and wanted to tell stories of politics, of the struggles of aliens attempting to keep an extremely high maintenance pet happy, but unwilling to consider freeing it.
It's so fucking ironic that these subs want someone to tell them what to do, but in practice, they make up a fake dom who only ever tells them to do what they already want. What's the point of having the fake dom in the story if the sub is still in charge? It's just like you say, they're bad subs. They misunderstood the point, and want all of the power with none of the responsibility.
In a consensual relationship doms should only be telling subs to do things they consent to of those, but that's not what HDG is! This is a sex slavery story! Fucking missing the point is what this is. If you want a perfect smart mummy to take complete control of you, why are you in complete control of her, not even doing her the dignity of writing her character with plausible motivations and nuance? Characters can take on a life of their own in a work of fiction, but I'm getting the sense very few HDG writers allow that to happen.
This is so disappointing.
So in their defense, submissive focused porn of perfect but vague doms in ways that are overly focused on exactly what the sub wants is common and it isn't even something I'd say is objectively bad, it's just something that gets boring after a while and it creates unrealistic expectations. Personally I much prefer something like Sunstone where the domme is an actual character, but I'd argue absent dominants are the default, in large part because the unknowability adds mystique and it avoids room for people to be turned off by the dominant's flaws.
Hell, there are a lot of porn settings that are politically horrifying. I've seen collaborative world building for erotic purposes of a setting in which women revolt and subject men to a totalitarian gynocracy.
For a lot of people into the superset of "gentle porn for subs with abstract doms" it's neither novel nor controversial to theorize that they love not necessarily the idea of submitting not as the reality but as a space to exist and express desires and sexuality without guilt or fear. They may also be into real submission, but it's not a guarantee. With cishet women you have something like how in a lot of romance the protagonist is faced with ravishing men and implausible scenarios. There is no need to ask, merely to acquiesce to what was already decided, and the protagonist and reader by extension are absolved of the sin of the fantasy that exists solely for them.
When we look at the content and the demographics (note I've not read any of it, merely seen discussions) of HDG, we can ask similar questions. I will be taking it on faith that it's a predominantly white, trans, lesbian fandom. In this group you see people for whom the primary visible benefit to freedom is the right to make the only reasonable choice and to be socially punished for it by others claiming they have the freedom to do so. So while I would say that this setting includes the generic gentle domination appeal, far larger of an appeal is the totalitarianism, or more kindly said, freedom from the burdens of freedom.
Totalitarianism as a whole is in vogue lately because even for the most privileged freedom is hard, it means that when you make the wrong choices you're responsible. When things go poorly you have to ask what you could have done differently. It requires that you own your actions and do appropriate research.
Stories in a setting like this are escapism reminiscent of my adolescent maladaptive daydreaming. And I don't think there's anything wrong with it assuming everyone sees it for what it is. It's honestly probably healthier than a lot of the old forcefem stuff. I think the bigger issue here is the rejection of allowing actually interesting takes within the setting, and the way that that creates a bubble of lightness and silliness around topics that need actual analysis. I'm reminded here of how Warhammer 40k people see the in universe fascism through the eyes of the in universe fascist propaganda and excuses. "It's just a game, everyone is terrible" falls to the wayside as people become what they pretend to be and begin to believe what they say.
I think there's also the issue that folks like this come into actual kink spaces and do as I previously mentioned, not out of maliciousness but because they don't understand the difference between these fantasies and d/s as an actual practice.
Idk this may come off disjointed. I was thinking about it last night and wrote this out between holiday celebrations
Imna kinkshame that. I see no benefit to kinks of abdicating responsibility to a imagined perfect higher power. You know why the Nazis followed Hitler? Because they had that kink too.
I'm not a liberal absolutist. I believe in the right of a person to give up their own freedom. But the one freedom that must never be given up is the freedom to judge one's leaders and make a choice whether to follow them. And too many people want to give up that freedom. That's how you get Nazis.