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I tried tinder once 8 years ago when I moved to a new city. Quickly deleted it. Basically every swipe was a match but then the men would not answer, eventually unmatched without ever answering or immediately text something sexual. Oh and so many "my profile says X but actually...." I think I met with three guys over the course of three month or so and they all tried to pressure me into having sex on the first or second date. One even mocked me for thinking any man would look for anything other than quick sex on tinder.
So it was pretty horrible and I felt mostly unsafe with the guys I met so I quickly stopped using it. I think it's a horrible way to meet people.
Damn, sorry you've had these experiences. That sounds exhausting. I've decided to never even try Tinder for similar reasons, it has such a bad reputation... though I may look at Hinge and Bumble in the future.
I think a lot of people just swipe/like broadly without really reading or considering profiles, and then only look at profiles after getting a match to decide if they're actually interested. Especially true on apps that have your photos front and centre, like Tinder dies.
I suppose if you're choosing to swipe/like multiple times a day, you conclude it saves time/effort to only read profiles on the actual matches you make every month or so.
In reality, those people end up being deprioritised by algorithms because you're assessed as 'undiscerning'/'low match rate' and are mostly shown people doing the same thing. You save time on the matching experience but you're far less likely to make matches that mean anything if you're matching people you've nothing in common with.
From what Ive heard of Hinge, it's the only modern large-scale app that's actually trying to describe who people are and not just what they look like, so it has a better reputation for meaningful matches.
Yea, many definitely just swipe and a lot don't even look at the profile after the match. Sometimes I got stupid answers like "I don't read profiles, I'll just ask you directly". Which is OK if you want to get a conversation going, but really stupid when it comes to the basics.
"Do you like weed, I smoke weed a lot." "....it says on my profile that I hate any kind of smoke, weed or tobacco, and that I'd never date someone who smokes. You could have saved us both the 3 days of writing if you'd read my profile and not swiped on me..."
I agree your example sounds pretty stupid, like they didn't even bother to read. But I just wanted to say that I'm not very good at describing myself and would rather get to know people and let people know me by talking to me. So maybe it's just not that easy for everyone to describe and look up descriptions.
That's OK when it comes to to personality but I think there are certain non-negotiable things that can be checked via the profile.
Wants Kids yes/no Wants Marriage yes/no OK with smoking or not
These are things that need to be checked early on either way or else the relationship won't work out.
It's a hookup app tho...
Its a dating app that's turned into a hookup app
It was a hookup app that turned into a dating app. I don't know if it has since turned back into a hookup app.
It originally was but many people look for relationship on tinder and when I used it there was the option to say if you were looking for a hookup or something serious.