this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2026

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143

My therapist says she might have to report my abusive family to the authorities. How do I avoid being reported so the cops don't show up and make everything worse? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by sprigatito_bread@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I (23M) started therapy today, hooray!

Only problem is, my family is too goddamn spicy. Once I got into my brother's (25M) increasingly homicidal fantasies and animal killings, she stopped me before I mentioned the threats he made to kill people and told me that she is a mandated reporter and has an obligation to report certain situations to the authorities.

I think adding police to the equation will make everything worse and immediately paint a target on my back because I am the only one who would ever disclose the violence that happens under this roof. It might result in me being homeless if I have to flee for my life. I live in Ohio and it's the middle of winter, so not a great start.

I wanted to work with a therapist because I grew up in this place and it traumatized me so badly that I'm scared of leaving this dump (not to mention, I have disabilities now that make that difficult). How much will I have to tiptoe around here? Is merely being afraid that someone will use violence against me reportable? What about if they fantasize about murder and domestic terrorism? What about violent crimes that they committed in the past? Or specific threats in the present?

Is therapy just not the right fit for this kind of thing? Did I end up with a heavy duty "fuck you" problem and therapy is just for "I feel sad sometimes" problems? It feels like bullshit to have to self-censor so much just because things were harder for me. How is throwing cops at the problem supposed to help when there is no universal basic sustenance or housing for the victims to escape to?

What are your experiences with mandated reporting, and how do you avoid triggering it?

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[–] Hegar@fedia.io 52 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You can be honest: you really want to avoid police involvement. You can ask her what sort of things she'd have to report.

I work in mental health and what she did - stopping to make you aware of what she would legally have to do before you trigger it - that's in our training.

You've hit on a very broken element of the system, and you're right to point out how useless throwing cops at a situation is without proper supports. Many mandatory reporters know this, and will try to make sure you don't cross that line unaware. None the less, she could face severe consequences if she doesn't report something.

I've seen a number of your posts, and i think you need more than just therapy - help to access rescources, navigate the maze of disability support, find employment and housing that fits your situation.

If you explain your goals, hopefully she will have some referrals or resources she can direct you to. It sounds like you know you need to get out of there, and you know you need help and time for that to happen.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 5 points 14 hours ago

I just want to throw out the fact that many states have people whose job is to help people navigate the social programs that might benefit them. Usually it's with the department of health and human services (or whatever it's called in your state)

If your state doesn't have these people, find someone who does state sponsored addiction counseling. They often have direct contacts for people in those programs because their clients typically need more than just addiction help.

Source: My wife got her master's in HHS and did addiction counseling until the fact that it was all about numbers pushed through instead of helping people drove her out.