DIY

Boy is this exactly the sort of "go down to that parking lot and hire a couple of 'Mexicans' (whatever country they really come from)" scenario that Trump is ruining in the US.

Should you live somewhere else, there's probably unskilled day workers who would hold the other end for a pittance and a lunch, and skilled day workers who would be more expensive but would have the whole thing done by lunchtime if you'd just get out of the way, dinnertime if you help.

I say crack that box, and/or look online to find the instructions. If you know how to do what's required, hire the cheap guy who will just do what you say. Still better than drunk friends who will argue with you. And he needs the money.