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They are. But what's the alternative? The elderly person who doesn't know who you are dies their slow, maybe 10 year death in your living room when you don't have the support you need to care for them? It's either awful for the elderly person or awful for everyone.
Source: we can't stomach putting granny in one of those so she lives with us, and I wipe her butt every day. I feel suicidal, and she feels.. idk. Because the dementia is too bad for her to really tell me. We can't put her in one because we know she'll be abused, but I genuinely can't and don't judge anyone who drops their family member off and walks away.
So I keep reading that this activity of putting our old people in senior centers is something only westerners do. We have this kind of fixation on self reliance being the peak of individual achievement and the parent-child relationship being a hurdle to overcome in order to reach that.
My personal recommendation: build a world where personal freedom isn't intertwined with financial dependence. And also better families who aren't motivated to get the hell away from eachother as soon as possible. But that's a pie-in-the-sky, ever elusive transformation that you and I alone can't make.
For you? I'm so sorry. My cousin has done what you're doing and it wrecked her irreparably. I should have helped her but I fucking didn't. She didn't ask either. If you can, try to get help with your task. Trade off responsibilities, procure healthcare. You shouldn't have been made to do this alone and you are the exact reason why we can't afford to keep doing things this way.