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I'd say it's OK, provided that:
But then again, I am rarely the target of any slurs, so it's not really up to me to decide.
Example: This coworker and I used to make jokes about each other's background all the time. I was mumbling under my breath about how much I hated the paperwork involved in filing expense claims. He said something referencing my lowbrow hillbilly background and how it didn't mesh well with paperwork. I offered him 10% of the payout if he used his Jewish superpowers and did the paperwork for me. There were maybe two or three others present, all of whom knew us and our dynamic well, and nobody called HR on either of us.
I agree with that, i don't have any problem either; I even use slurs like batty boy or lady boy in ironic/dark contexts while talking of myself simply because it make me laugh (I am a femboy and genderfluid, that's why i use 'em), usually with other trans or bisexual friends, but if there is someone that don't like it I avoid to do it, i also avoid if there is a transphobic/racist/etc etc person in the conversation because they would use it seriously and probably think it's normal, which is NOT
Though, if they use it seriously then i am going to do dark humo about them by saying stuff like "I hope that you hangout more often with us...by your feets" or "you should wear another scarf today", in there i didn't used slurs but it's kinda dark ( i guess? My meter of how much something is dark is kinda broken tbh)
This is where I was tempted to respond with a joke, referencing your gender and sexual identity, as an example use of what I consider acceptable in this particular contex. While you would probably get the joke and not be offended by it, I have decided against it, since there are likely to be people stumbling in, not understanding the context, and taking offense to it. Audience matters, intentionally or not. Plus, the written form makes it harder to convey the humor in a manner that cannot be misunderstood.
Plus, I can only imagine the "this you?"-screenshots when I try to state explicitly that the boards I mod are against homophobia and transphobia, or anything similar.
Could you tell the joke to me in DM? I am very curious now XD
Nah, it's not that good, but I can give you a censored version of the ending:
"I'm not homophobic, some of my best friends are f-slur !"