this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2026
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I use Crocs like they are final form flipflops. Any time I'd be comfortable wearing flipflops, I just wear crocs instead. People hate on them mostly because of internet groupthink conditioning (see also: pineapple on pizza and the word 'moist').
huh. i never thought about crocs that way. i can't wear flip flops for [doxxable reasons] but crocs could work. i just really really don't like the way they look and already have good sandals. sandals that are in desperate need of maintenance because they're old enough to rent a car. hmmm.
if i find out you're a BRAND salesman i'ma come after you and we'll have to i don't know, get coffee and bagels or something and YOU'LL HAVE TO BUY THE BAGELS. you seem like a pleasant dude and that seems like a fair exchange.
Have you looked at some of their new, esoteric models? You might get along with those better.
Honestly, I stopped caring. They're so goddamn comfortable, I can wear them outside in the dirt and simply wash them, I love the things.
see, i'm weird. we're all complicated, right? I'm generally function over form, but like i am also a musician and so vain i think the song is about me. like except for my sandals and hiking boots i wear exclusively Børn shoes because they are sooooo comfy (and the first pair i got looked so cool. the pairs i have now are just leather, but the first ones had orange stripes!) and last a long time. like decades and stay good quality. i tend to compare them favorably to and about the same comfort and quality level as i hear about Birkenstocks (my wife has some of both brands, she says i am correct). For the average consumer (i ain't talking the superrich, those fucks get handmade shoes probably) they are Lady Sybil level on the Vimes Scale of Boot Quailty.
So like, coming from that type of shoe snob, i might try on a pair of crocs but i will be afraid. do you know of a biblically accurate shoe salesman that can help me through the fear?
Now that song is stuck in my head! Oh no!
this one?
Not that version, but yeah!
i had to share because i love that version, especially the lack of the chorus.
i got to hear it live and omg
Username checks out.