this post was submitted on 30 Mar 2026
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Lesbianism aside (I say, in a specifically lesbian community), I think it's the patriarchy at work yet again. I'm pretty sure that a lot of men desire to be "pretty" or "cute", but mainstream heteronormativity makes even small efforts in the direction of femininity a big deal.
No, it’s definitely laziness. People who want to look good put in the effort. People who don’t care just don’t bother. As a straight man, I’m proudly in the “don’t care” camp. I wash my hair when it gets greasy. I shave my face when it gets itchy. I go to the gym because I love food and don’t want to put on a ton of weight and have a heart attack at 45.
IMO, there's a big difference between looking handsome and looking pretty or cute, especially for men who have more masculine features.
Can concur, currently I'd like to look pretty and cute, people around me encourage me to do that, people on the street or at work would not care if I did that. The only thing stopping me from looking good is my own lazy ass.
As a woman, yeah I describe myself as a lazy femme for a reason. When I'm going out I throw on makeup and put in effort, but for most things, nah I'm just throwing on jeans and a t-shirt
I guess in a lot of areas that's true. Then again, my straight male coworkers dress up regularly and wear earrings and get their eyebrows done. I can't tell who's gay anymore. Send gay help. :(