So the solution is that the one side that already has a bunch of guns, gets to kill as many people on the other side, and we must not help the other side defend themselves?

Always give the aggressor everything they want and let them kill as many civilians as they need to.

Sure.

temporarily get some of what they want while things are worked out

Some of what they want = to own all of Ukraine, and for Ukrainians to not exist as a culture, let alone a nation.

There's no temporary about it. There's no "some of what they want" about it. Negotiations have been tried time and time again. Ceasefires have been tried, but guess what, Russia just bombarded the civilian evacuation corridors when they were negotiated because the goal is to kill as many Ukrainians as possible.

Putin is not rational, this is an ego war. I take it you were never bullied in school. You might not know what it's like when someone's main goal in life is to make yours hell. You can just lay on the ground and play dead, that won't stop them from kicking you. There's no talking your way out of it unless you yourself are at least as strong as the bully. This is what Russia is. A schoolyard bully. Any type of negotiated peace short of total capitulation is going to be nothing more than a way to catch Ukraine with its' pants down and kill more Ukrainians and grab more territory. The only way Russia will stop killing innocent people is if they either run out of resources, or Putin himself gets deposed.