I might as well go first:
Thou shalt seed what you download (You'll understand in a few thousand years)
I might as well go first:
Thou shalt seed what you download (You'll understand in a few thousand years)
The 10 commandments divide into two sections. Rules for the relation between people and God and rules for the relation between people and other people. 5 more would probably setup a third section. Like rules for the relation between people and nature or rules for one’s relation to oneself.
Forgive your brother who has wronged you as you would want him to forgive your own transgressions.
Honor creation and take only what you need from the mountains, streams, woodlands, and valleys.
Respect the creatures of the earth as your brothers in creation.
Avoid excesses and live humbly
Love yourself for you were created in My image
- Love yourself for you were created in My image
This is really good actually
Thou shalt not push to prod on Fridays
And the Lord said unto Moses: If thou pushest thy change, and the site goeth down, thou shalt roll back thy push. Thou shalt roll back first, even if thou knowest not the root cause. Thus may your days be long and prosperous on the earth.
I would like to emphasize the gender neutral nature of "dudes" in this context.
"No slavery", "no genocide", "no slavery", "no genocide", and "seriously, no slavery or genocide".
Considering that early Jewish writings directly contain laws about the treatment of slaves, "no slavery" was probably not on the list.
As for Genocide, Yahweh commanded Saul through Samuel:
And Samuel said to Saul, "The Lord sent me to anoint you to be king over His people, over Israel; and now hearken to the voice of the words of the Lord.
...
Now, go, and you shall smite Amalek, and you shall utterly destroy all that is his, and you shall not have pity on him: and you shall slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass.
And then Yahweh threw a hissy fit when Saul showed some mercy. Turns out that Yahweh was is a dick, according to his own believers' writings.
So you’re saying the Bible specifically recommends slaying ass?
“Honey, the Bible says I gotta go slay ass! I know I promised those days were behind me,, but God wants me to do it! Completely off topic, how’s your sister? She still single?”
"Thou shalt not accidentally drop and break one of these three tablets"
Thou shalt not fuck kids. They definitely meant for that to be in there, right? Guys...?
what was that? gay people are sinners? got it.
/s disclaimer
this is about the bible verse about laying with a boy (or something). not homophobic
The five missing ones are:
Bonus: the original version of the 8th was
The current 8th (Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour) is a forgery. Some assumer got called out over and over because of the older 8th, since he really liked to make shit up, so he restricted it into near uselessness. Source: I'm Lucifer, I know it. :^)
Your version of the 8th would literally undo all religion (and a bit of science).
Your version of the 8th would literally undo all religion
It would undo the myths, I think. Morality and religious practices might survive depending on how much they rely on said myths.
and a bit of science
It would perhaps demote a lot of theories back to hypotheses, but that's actually good IMO. A good scientist should embrace the doubt and treat it as a respectable enemy, not hide from it like a catfish in the mud.
Thou shalt not be cruel
Thou shalt not oppress your fellow man
Thou shalt not put yourself before your brethren
Thou shalt not think only of yourself
Thou shalt not live in a disordered home, nor shall you allow the cities you live in to become disorderly due to your own lack of action
Returneth thy cart.
Don't be evil.
Just do it.
Make, your dreams, come true.
[This one can't be translated usefully into any modern language.]
For everything else, there's Mastercard.
For everything else, there's Mastercard.
Finally someone taking the question seriously
One saying slavery shouldn’t happen would be nice.
I think the 10 commandments are in Exodus which is also one of the books where God says exactly how you should own slaves. So that would be a weird one.
God really is a piece of shit.
There literally was another one if Idan Dershowitz's theory that the Shapira Scroll was legit is true.
In that document (the translation is in his book The Valediction of Moses: A Proto-Biblical Book (2021)), there's effectively an 11th commandment of "thou shalt not hate your brother in your heart."
In general, a number of the sayings found across both Deuteronomy and Leviticus would seem like good candidates, such as "love your neighbor as yourself" and "love the foreigner among you as yourself."
A lot of the modern interpretation is that the former refers to your literal personal home neighbors, but it makes more sense for an emergent pastoral community to be in reference to political neighbors like the Canaanites and Philistines.
Which we are now realizing thanks to archeology that the early Israelites cohabitated and were at peace with, in spite of the anachronistic stories in the Bible about it, such as the book of Joshua which is completely at odds with any archeological picture of history. Early Israelite theomorphic names in graveyards were even around 30% 'Baal' based. So the whole "hate and kill your neighbors that are different from you" seems like it was a later addition. To be fair, as likely was the monotheism.
In general, the story of Moses breaking the first set of tablets in response to the golden calf worship is sus as fuck. It mirrors the alleged reforms of Josiah centuries later where he destroyed the golden calves at Bethel and Dan while getting rid of the old laws and instituting new ones. So much more likely that it was a later addition to an earlier folk narrative being shaped to support contemporary major religious reforms.
My personal pick for a good candidate comes from a line in an 8th century BCE bilingual tablet from the group that the lead excavator of Tel Dan now thinks was the lost tribe of Dan up in Adana Turkey, the Denyen sea peoples. Their king, in discussing how he improved his kingdom over the past, used as a measuring stick the fact that women could now walk home alone feeling safe.
So "Thou shalt create and foster a society where women can walk home alone at night feeling safe" seems like it would do a lot of heavy lifting to improve the current set of commandments significantly.
Thall shalt not run for political office and then switch sides halfway through.
Thall shalt not allow predators to sell underage girls to celebrities.
Thall shalt not incite a coup at your government headquarters
Thall shalt not give so many fucks about the arrangement of other people genitals or what they do with them.
Thall shalt not fuck with abortion laws or start repealing other progressive laws that have been in place for decades
Thou who smelt it, thine own self dealt it.
Thou shall not attempt to make a business out of this using the medium of broadcast images and shouting.
Thou shalt not stalk thine ex's media feed and scribe words inspired by Bacchus
Don't take the Bible too literally
IIRC--and its been a long time since I've bothered reading the bible--what happened is that Moses got one set of commandments from god, came down from the mountain, sand saw the Israelites worshiping a gold cow. He got mad, broke the tablets the laws were on, and then disposed of the Israelites that were engaging in idolatry. Then he went back up the mountain and got the rules we call the ten commandments.
Final line:
Now remember, these are just guidelines, you don't have to take them too seriously, have some fun with them, that's why I made you.
tit for tat plus 10% extra forgiveness is the most successful strategy in life and politics of every kind
god is found in higher furnace temperatures filled with colorful rocks
always separate how you feel from what you can prove with evidence that is accepted as truth by 100 persons from a dozen foreign lands
without exception, only con artists use unclear and indirect language that is subject to interpretation
a metal screw can be used in a device to make a more accurate metal screw, repeat this process many times
Thou shalt not be a poo poo head
Thou shalt not hold unbelievers to the moral standards thou agreedest to and that only applyeth to thee
Thou shalt not giveth a shitteth about shitteth that is not thine own
Thou shall not leave a shitstreak in the bowl, if you do so use the brush before leaving.
"Thou shalt boil water before drinking it" would probably have saved a staggering number of lives. That and a handwashing commandment together would've been a home run for pre-industrial survival rates. "Thou shalt not trust a fearmonger" would also be a good, if perhaps self-defeating commandment.
Thou shalt not partake of decaf
Thou shalt not have no idea
Thou shalt always go for greatness
Thou shalt not commit adulthood
Thou shalt not suppress flatulence
ALL
Thou shalt not steal if there is a direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship Pop Idols or follow Lostprophets.
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Dekker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barrett in vain.
Thou shalt not think any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a paedophile. Some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME.
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they've become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by its cover.
Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.
Thou shalt not buy Coca-Cola products.
Thou shalt not buy Nestlé products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend's best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls' pants. Use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks.
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you've done your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just 'cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied that you're never gonna fucking talk to.
There's a second verse, but I think I'll leave it at that.
You shall not establish theocracies or institutionalize beliefs.
The other tablet only had one commandment, chiseled extra large for emphasis:
Above all else, do no harm.
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~