Uhh the sin of sloth

Not wanting to dedicate my life to getting fit. When I started working out I had this idea that I needed to be as ripped as possible otherwise I had failed gym life. I'd be at the gym five times a week. I'd spend my days trying to figure out how to get as much gains as possible. I made 800 kcal disgusting smoothies made out of ice, peanut butter, protein powder, dates and what not. You could cement a house with those bad boys. I'd skip going out with friends because the thought of having a drink while out in a bar gave me anxiety because I thought that it would destroy all my progress of the week.

I got ripped because of it. I got strong. But mentally it made me a wreck because everything I was doing, I did it for the gainz.

Now I work out to stay healthy and active and to remain strength. If I want to go out a day after a workout or if I don't have a workout during the week I don't freak out anymore. I have found a much healthier balance for myself which allows me to be far more consistent. And I have a much healthier relationship with food now. Have a drink if you feel like it. Have a cheat day, whatever. It's not going to magically destroy every gain you have ever made.

Sure I could be bigger in terms of muscle right now but that is not my goal anymore.

Periodically I get depressed (more than usual), stop exercising and my muscles waste away

I have probably more than one, but my silliest and, at the same time, most annoying one is an object: my wireless earbuds. I cannot put my phone one meter away without losing signal and my music cutting out. Not even carrying it in my pocket works, and at the end of my training session I have lost a ridiculous amount of time trying to get those things to work by turning them on and off again or resetting them. I would buy new ones, but alas, there's no money for that.

Infrastructure. My main exercise is cycling to and from work because I don't like exercise, but the cycling infrastructure in my city is shite (some of the best in Britain, which says a lot about how bad it is elsewhere). Potholes, cycle paths that suddenly merge into a dual carriageway, and a complete lack of the maintenance roads get, like sweeping and gritting.

So last winter I got wiped out by black ice and hurt my leg, stopping me from cycling for a few days, and last week I got wiped out by rotten leaves from last autumn, which wrecked my derailleur and has put the bike in the shop for a week. Doesn't just steal my gains, but either my money getting taxis home from work or my time by waiting up to an hour for a bus.

I get anxious when the gym gets crowded and speed up my workouts.

My job. Working a blue collar job where you have to walk 15-20k steps a day is good I suppose for burning calories, but at the end of the day it's tough to add any sort of cardio or muscle building before or after the day. I try biking to and from work but then I'm really zapped and spend my evenings just lying around barely able to cook dinner. I have some light weights which I do sitting which is decent.

Look at me. I am the goblin now.

Weed 🥲