crime
this post was submitted on 31 May 2024
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What crimes do you recommend?
gang weed
Community gardens are a good way to meet people.
Many game shops have tabletop groups and that's a good way to meet nerds.
Punk/DIY shows are 40% music and 60% social event.
People who do the drogs have very elaborate and often inclusive social structures around them.
Places around you with bulletin boards will often be papered with events.
The number one thing, though, is accepting conversations as they come. I don't mean trying to small talk everyone you pass on the street, but if you have a thought that's relevant and not rude, share it- you can end up relating really well to someone. I'm an ambivert and I don't really seek people out, but if people talk to me I'll talk right back, and sometimes it goes places.
Id say go to local events and talk to the people around you. I'm sure there are pro Palestinian rallies somewhere by you. I've met so many cool people just talking to the person standing next to me at a rally or march. Sometimes the main point of a "do nothing" protest is actually be a reason to bring like minded folks together.
Yeah I guess there's no shortcut to actually talking to people. Being shy sucks
It really does. Your best hope is that you get "adopted" by a charismatic person and just brought into their circles if you are cool.
If we were in the same city I'd be your friend. :(
If we were in the same city I'd be your friend. :(
haha thank you
Volunteering. I made some good friends doing mutual aid stuff.
Edit: I'll expand, since it's relevant: I was distributing hot meals to hungry people. This was actually really good practice talking to people (strangers). Was intimidating at first, but I leaned into it and really enjoyed doing it.
Fun group physical activities like hiking or rock climbing or BJJ or volleyball/basketball/flag football/ultimate rec leagues is where I have met essentially all of my friends.
IRL meetups for any hobbies you have. Even things like jigsaw puzzling have meetups.
I just don’t understand why these people have no interests already? Like why ask people for ideas in what to do who doesn’t know what hiking is? I recommend meetup.com though for sure, there’s also bumble bf and some other apps if ou search that one
But yeah choose thing you like to do—-> apply public/outside/other humans and you can be healthy then
It's called being depressed
I just don’t understand why these people have no interests already? Like why ask people for ideas in what to do who doesn’t know what hiking is? I recommend meetup.com though for sure, there’s also bumble bf and some other apps if ou search that one
But yeah choose thing you like to do—-> apply public/outside/other humans and you can be healthy then
"I just don't understand why people find it hard to get a job and a car and a house? Just go out there, find one, and save money. It's sO eAsY!"
With all due respect, get the fuck out with that shit. This is supposed to be a place of support, not judgmental fucking bullshit like you're spouting.
It's true (not trying to put OP on blast here) that if someone is asking how to meet people that is probably more indicative of an underlying issue where they aren't pursuing self-actualization by cultivating special interests or hobby skills. If you are doing those you tend to encounter & attract kindred spirits fairly easily.
probably more indicative of an underlying issue where they aren't pursuing self-actualization by cultivating special interests or hobby skills.
Uhh what's up with this Jordan Peterson BS you're spouting? This sounds like some "clean your room" shit.
no ur right, doing literally anything to make yourself not the most boring person imaginable is the same as cryptofascism
If you are doing those you tend to encounter & attract kindred spirits fairly easily.
This is wrong and bordering on victim-blaming.
doing literally anything to make yourself not the most boring person imaginable
And now you're not just bordering on it anymore. Muslimmarxist is right, this is Jordan Peterson level garbage. I have always had many hobbies and am interested in more things than I have time to even begin to explore with the kind of depth I'd like to (without cutting into the time I devote to other interests and passions). Even so, I have in the past and for extended periods had tremendous difficulty meeting people due to extreme social phobia.
Implying that people who suffer from loneliness aren't pursuing self-actualization or aren't cultivating their interests is a form of ableism. While it is possible that a lack of interests could be why someone is lonely, in most cases it has nothing to do with it. It's like saying "the reason you don't have a job is because you're lazy." Like, maybe? but just as likely not, and it serves as another thought-terminating cliche that people privileged enough to not suffer from that problem can tell themselves to avoid recognizing the deeper and more pernicious systemic issues. Just as a person can have no hobbies but still be very social and outgoing, a person can have numerous and profound passions but no friends.
In addition to that, many (even most?) hobbies can be done either socially or completely in solitary. Sometimes a hobby that a person is passionate about can even take up so much of their time and attention that they lose social skills and opportunities for social interactions. It's a little ironic that you used rock climbing as an example because I was recently watching some Alex Honold (who is probably the world's most famous rock climber at this point) interviews where he said that he developed his love of rock climbing because it was something solitary that he could go off and do on his own, being a friendless introvert who had trouble relating with people around him. Please don't reinforce the potentially harmful misconception that lonely and isolated people are that way because they just don't have enough interests, or even that developing more interests will somehow help alleviate that loneliness and isolation. Neither are remotely true.
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I mostly meet people through mutual interests
I assume you're a cis-het guy? Not gonna lie it's gonna be tough going to events solo, as a single guy automatically puts many people's defenses up. Also tbh you're not gonna find great advice on hexbear when it comes to specifically male loneliness issues. It might be better to find a site/forum that specifically caters to that.
Yeah, I honestly don't even know why I made this post. I'm just not doing well mentally rn and I'm doing some random shit
Ask an animal shelter if you can volunteer to walk the dogs.
Get a gym membership, and if anyone looks at you funny, say “I have no idea what I’m doing, advice is appreciated.”
Learn the hobbies of 2 coworkers and ask about them.
Look at meetup.com for things in your area.
Sit in a park and read poetry. Eventually a girl will approach as long as you focus on reading (it might take days, poetry girls are shy).
a site/forum that specifically caters to male loneliness issues
yeah so about that...
Do stuff you like doing and then casually over time start talking to other people doing the same things.
Have you tried Facebook? Nextdoor? Instagram?
Lots of leftist groups in your vicinity that you can find through Instagram especially.
TTRPG groups are a good bet too.
I haven't tried anything yet. I just wanted to know what other people are doing.
I was thinking about doing some volunteer work or just showing up at random public gatherings. Myabe I'll meet some cool people this way
Volunteer work is great as you'll have something to keep you occupied if you're struggling to initiate a conversation, and also you'll have to talk to people just a bit to get some instruction or collaborate on the work. You'll start off on a good fit since people will like that you're helping out with their favourite cause, and they'll be naturally a bit curious about you and why you joined.
I do a lot through dance stuff
Classes are a very safe bet but pricier. Lowkey grassroots event are also easy and cheap but harder to find. Festivals/raves > shows > clubs are more variable cause it's loud af and way less intimate but people are gonna be high and super friendly. Note mainstream clubs interactions are gonna be interpreted as flirting, and ime first interactions with people when we're both high af never goes stronger beyond that (i.e. drug/party buddies)
I got involved with the local bicycle users group around me. It's a chance to take my kids for a ride with some chill older people. I may not call them 'friends' but it's a chance to hang out with other people now and then
