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[-] some_guy 72 points 11 months ago

Not being kind to people in the service industry.

[-] Hazzia@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 11 months ago

They said seemingly unimpactful. If you don't immediately see being a rude pos to strangers, ESPECIALLY those in customer service, as a red flag, then you're a few nickels short of a dollar.

[-] some_guy 11 points 11 months ago

unimpactful

I take "unimpactful" here as being oblivious are aloof to others. You don't have to be an asshole to treat someone poorly. That just requires not thinking of anyone but yourself, which is done by assholes, but can also be less severe and merely lacking compassion for someone because they're here to do a job and not a person.

[-] CanadaPlus 6 points 11 months ago

When somebody manages to actively be an asshole to random strangers they just met it's actually kind of spectacular. Usually people can mask up at least a bit in public.

[-] MxRemy@lemmy.one 68 points 11 months ago
[-] swan_pr@lemmy.ca 21 points 11 months ago

That's a big one. Also lack of hobbies or passions.

[-] Twink@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago

That's a sign of depression.

[-] megane_kun@lemm.ee 10 points 11 months ago

To be fair, I'd understand if someone don't want to be close friends with someone with depression. In my worst days (depression and other stuff on top of it), I don't want to be in the company of anyone either. It would be very taxing to someone wanting to be close friends with me, so yeah, I'd understand why they'd just opt out of it and stay away.

[-] IzyaKatzmann@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago

That's fair, hurtful but fair. I've found that I tend to become frustrated or ashamed due to my lack of ability to help. Certainly completely blaming oneself isn't ideal, and yet the personal investment gets me all sentimental :/

I'll reach out and invite them and try to have talks in depth, there's only so much one can do given the circumstances and I operate in the grey area of 'not knowing where' to justify the extent of my involvement. This isn't well received by others, rightfully so, and though they'll admit I mean well how amenable is someone to someone else who they've known only for a bit to their excessive interest in themselves? I try to focus on providing bits of information as that is closer to being evidence-based rather than rhetoric to persuade them but it doesn't seem to work and I'm a bit clueless on how to continue. Working with orgs makes it much easier, I don't like the depersonalized approach and would like to find some way to incorporate it.

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[-] some_guy 7 points 11 months ago

This is exactly what tanked a potential relationship for me a few years ago.

[-] Palerider@feddit.uk 61 points 11 months ago
[-] CanadaPlus 32 points 11 months ago

Maybe you don't like the wording, but everyone does this. Unless you know if someone will be a close friend the moment you lay eyes on them, or are friends with literally everyone you've spent time with.

[-] ComradeChairmanKGB@lemmygrad.ml 12 points 11 months ago

Yes everyone does it naturally and mostly subconsciously over time as they get to know people. You've got to be a real psycho to be running through a checklist you've crowd sourced online. Wtf is this thread. Ugh reddit refugees lmao.

[-] CanadaPlus 8 points 11 months ago

I personally doubt OP is going to actually use the answers like that.

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[-] Riker_Maneuver@startrek.website 4 points 11 months ago

For real this seems like a major red flag.

[-] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 55 points 11 months ago

Do people really do that? I just kind of meet people and whatever happens happens.

[-] bomberesque1@lemm.ee 42 points 11 months ago
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[-] silvercove@lemdro.id 42 points 11 months ago
  • Belief in nonsense, such as astrology
  • Celebrity worship
  • Excessive social media usage, especially Twitter
[-] JudahBenHur@lemm.ee 14 points 11 months ago

you're on lemmy

[-] Blamemeta@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago

What about excessive lemmy usage?

[-] redballooon@lemm.ee 15 points 11 months ago

That would be really weird. There’s not enough content for excessive Lemmy usage.

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[-] richieadler@lemmy.myserv.one 39 points 11 months ago
  • Serious belief in pseudosciences
  • Conspiracy theorist
  • Right-wing ideology
  • Sex prude
[-] wontonnoodles@lemmy.world 37 points 11 months ago

If they are cheap/stingy but when someone else is paying they get the more expensive things. If someone is consistently frugal in all situations I don't mind.

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[-] riley0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 11 months ago

Someone who identifies very closely with hustle & grind culture. Someone who claims a personal brand. Someone who kisses up and kicks down.

[-] mashbooq@lemmy.world 25 points 11 months ago

Who are these people who have so many choices in friends that they can afford to vet them?

[-] Dubious_Fart@lemmy.ml 16 points 11 months ago

Its not so much having friends to vet them.

its meeting new people that seem, for all intents and purposes, cool and mellow people.

Then you make the mistake of sending them an off-platform friend request and are quickly brought to realization that the only thing keeping them cool and mellow was the platforms rules and reporting.

I got duped like that once in a game, Kept running into eachother and playing together, so sent them an out of game friend request.. Immediately received a massive tirade about what they really thought about trans people, and gays, and other various topics. 100% unprompted, and out of the blue 0-100 in .00237 second.

The only reason I didnt immediately block them was because I was too stupified and took me a solid minute to gather myself. Ended up having to block them in game, too.. Which I think resulted in them being banned, since they sent me a huge message in game about i must be one of those liberal trans homosexuals since i blocked him after his "truth" or whatever bullshit. Reported his ass, and never saw him again.

Crazy is super good at concealing itself, until it thinks you are a compatriot.

[-] DirigibleProtein@aussie.zone 21 points 11 months ago

Inability to follow instructions. Lack of problem solving skills. No common sense.

[-] Hazzia@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 11 months ago

Honestly though, this big for me as well. I didn't used to think I would care - not everybody has the same skills and all that - until I met someone failing all 3 categories. Unfortunately he's also my coworker and I have to run clean up on basically everything he does. He has worked there 3 years now and still messes up on the same, most basic stuff I've walked him through countless times before. It's exhausting when they make no progress and you're being held personally responsible for their growth and improvement.

[-] green_witch@beehaw.org 18 points 11 months ago

Anyone who dislikes animals.

[-] redballooon@lemm.ee 14 points 11 months ago

Doesn’t speak a language I know.

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[-] nothacking@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Refusing to participate in a civil discussion, but instead resorting to ad hominem (attacking the person not the argument) or refusing to consider the other sides argument. If they do this any minor dispute will escalate to a flame war.

[-] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 10 points 11 months ago

You probably got machine-corrected, that's ad hominem. But yes, not being able to handle an argument healthily is a big handicap in life

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[-] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 8 points 11 months ago

If they treat service workers poorly, that's already a red flag for me. Even if the service is disappointing somehow, being an asshole to them is still a red flag to me.

[-] OceanSoap@lemmy.ml 7 points 11 months ago

How they treat people who disagree with them politically. If they immediately hate/cut off people for political disagreements, we're not going to be friends any deeper than surface level.

[-] GaveUp@hexbear.net 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

What if they hate/cut off fascists though?

I know a lot of people who are close friends with BJP fans and I always thought that was fucking weird

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[-] Kanzar@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Depends on the disagreement... if the topic under discussion is as inflammatory as abortion or trans rights, I'm sure you can understand why some folks can't agree to disagree.

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[-] Dee@lemmings.world 7 points 11 months ago

Unimpactful trait? I'd say if they put the toilet paper the wrong way, if you have to ask which way is the right way we can't be friends. Also if they don't return the shopping cart, instant way for me to lose respect for you.

[-] AlternateRoute@lemmy.ca 4 points 11 months ago

Oddly enough your rigity on this is why we could not be friends.

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[-] luthis@lemmy.nz 5 points 11 months ago
[-] Twink@hexbear.net 10 points 11 months ago

I'd go with people who refuse to admit to listening to pop music and/or center their entire personality around a music genre. I like jazz, I like classical and more, but I find the weird superiority complex specifically punk/rock/metal listeners have towards pop music very, very and I mean VERY cringe. This said, fuck Swifties, the woman alone is murdering the planet with how much she flies for no apparent reason.

[-] luthis@lemmy.nz 5 points 11 months ago

Yeah, you gotta be more than a single thread carpet.

[-] vd1n@lemmy.ml 8 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Same for any pop media. Some is fine, but if they think every current trending show or movies is "the best" than I know they don't have a system of standard.

[-] NoGodsNoMasters@hexbear.net 6 points 11 months ago

Almost forgot this place is filled with redditors

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this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2023
81 points (92.6% liked)

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