All these things happened as a direct result of my running, this much is obvious. I don't know how my legs are linked to the politics of the US, but I hope to understand my powers some day soon. Also Chris Dorner was briefly resurrected when I hit the gym last week (they found his gun). It seems my thighs quench life and my biceps bring it forth.

Last time I went for a long run (managed to be my longest yet at 13k!) This time I am going for a short 5k. I hope to be able to do it in under 22 minutes (when I was at my peak I could do it just under 18 minutes!) We will see if it is time, distance or speed that determines this.

all 46 comments

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[–] doleo@lemmy.one 38 points 11 months ago

It’s like that saying, “a watched pot never boils”. Things only happen when you’re not watching an internet.

[–] Brickardo@feddit.nl 37 points 11 months ago

There are runs where decades happen

[–] Jew@hexbear.net 31 points 11 months ago (2 children)

News just dropped that a billionaire is missing at sea. Not joking, that fucker probably drowned. Thank you for your fitness comrade!!

[–] REgon@hexbear.net 10 points 11 months ago

I was thinking about Jeff Bezos as I ran. Getting closer and closer.

[–] Nacarbac@hexbear.net 29 points 11 months ago (1 children)

British tech entrepreneur Mike Lynch reportedly missing after yacht sinks off Sicily

The name of that ship? The Bayesian.

[–] synae 11 points 11 months ago

The Bayesian

Too perfect, p-values ~~through the roof~~ exactly 0.5

God doesn't play dice, but he sure jokes a lot

[–] moonlake@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago

comrade has the ~~lathe~~ treadmill of heaven

[–] Tomorrow_Farewell@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Post hog, ergo propter hog.

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Post hog, helicopter hog

[–] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Well you done gon for a run and now you REgon

[–] REgon@hexbear.net 6 points 11 months ago

RE:RE:RE:gon (funny!)

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Run along the San Andreas fault line so Escape From LA can happen.

[–] Sephitard9001@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Run backward along the fault so Bad Day LA can happen

[–] REgon@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

What happens if I run sideways?

[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago

Become crab

[–] Gay_Tomato@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago

khomeini

[–] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago

nicholson-yes

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Try running backwards and see if someone gets resurrected

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago

juche necromancy secrets revealed

[–] autism_2@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

TYFYS

[–] REgon@hexbear.net 3 points 11 months ago

rat-salute

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

New bit idea: we make a new live-action Deathnote for Netflix and we replace the book with MC Ride running montages.

[–] REgon@hexbear.net 3 points 11 months ago

Basically what Yu Gi Oh! 5Ds did with motorbikes and card games

[–] StalinistApologist@hexbear.net 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You got Phil Donahue this run. i-told-you-dog

[–] REgon@hexbear.net 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

rip-bozo
or was he an okay dude?

[–] StalinistApologist@hexbear.net 4 points 11 months ago

He pioneered daytime talk shows and his was the first to include audience participation in the late 1960s with The Phil Donahue Show. I didn't know about this but he did a series of Citizens' Summits with the USSR, which seems like a good thing since the NYTimes hates it in that link.

Maybe not that bad a guy, just the only newsworthy thing announced since your run when I looked.

[–] miz@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

~~noooooooooooo, not Linda Yaccarino!!~~ oh right, Susan Wocjkijcjcikji

[–] milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I think Stephen Fry has a story of generations of his family going to some theatre and American presidents getting assassinated.

[–] casskaydee@hexbear.net 3 points 11 months ago

I didn't know Stephen Fry was related to Robert E Lee

[–] tupcakes@midwest.social 2 points 11 months ago

Run you glorious bastard.