No. Suicide is an act of desperation for people who are in so much pain and anguish that their only option to stop their suffering is by ending their life. They literally see no other solution to their problems.

The worst part about suicide is that there are people out there that can never fully understand why suicide is their only option.

It’s never an easy decision; the internal and external guilt that they are inflicted with over their “selfish decision”, the knowledge of who they inevitably will hurt, the shame of feeling too weak to fix it themselves, the loneliness and abandonment they feel because they can never tell anybody how they genuinely feel, and if they try then they get to be made to feel like garbage for it.

The tightness in their chests, the twisted knot in their throats, the ever present choking feeling from their sadness. It’s ever-present, and washes over you like the waves of the ocean. They push and pull you in uncontrollable directions. Sometimes you get knocked over. Sometimes you get stuck underneath the crash of the wave. You lose your sense of direction, and cannot tell up from down. You’re just trying to gasp for air, but are afraid to breathe too deep for you might drown yourself.

You so desperately want to feel better. You want someone to hug you and tell you it’s going to be okay. You try to reach out and explain things, but it never quite comes out right. People get mad at you for it too. They accuse you of being dramatic or “silly”. If you’re a guy, you’re a “pussy” who needs to “man up”.

But you know what feels worse than all of that?

Attempting suicide and failing. Oh you might think it’s a great thing to have failed, because hey, you’re still alive. It doesn’t work like that. Have you ever come to realize that you’re such a horrible person that you can’t even do one “simple” thing like killing yourself right? That you already fail at everything you do, including this? And now you have to live with that too. And that’s one more thing you can never tell anybody about, because God Forbid how they may look at you after.

So you lie. You tell them some story why your wrist is bandaged up. They believe you too, because they don’t want to face the truth. You could tell them the stupidest reason why you have a huge gash on your wrist, like “I got my hand stuck in my engine trying to work on it,” and no questions will be asked.

No, suicide doesn’t one into living doesn’t help either. You don’t blame a person when they break their arm? If anything, it just makes them feel worse, and further alienates them from reaching out for help. Living with this pain slowly eats away at you from the inside out. It’s slow, painful, and dare I say, inhumane.

How would you treat a loved one who stubs their toe or breaks their arm? Maybe their appendix bursts and they need emergency surgery. How selfish of them, right? They should’ve thought about how it’s make their loved ones feel; then they would’ve thought twice about getting sick or hurt.

Distributes, but doesn't split it.

Those around you do care, sometimes more than they could ever hope to put into words.

I'll never forget those I knew who died deaths of despair. I could never put into words how much they meant to me in spite of the time I knew with them trying.

It's been over a decade and the pain is still there. I wish I could share my life with them, I wish I could show them how good things have gotten for us (the queer community), I wish I could show them how far I've come in life, I wish I could have seen how far they could have gotten, I wish they had reached out, I wish they were still here.

“Don’t commit suicide because you’ll make your family and friends sad. They want to keep you around because otherwise they’ll be sad.”

This doesn’t seem like a selfless view.

True, suicide will inflict damage on your family but the part were they want help can only true for healthy families.

I asked my father for help multiple times, all he said was "why can't you be normal" and only talks to me when he wants money.

There is a video on youtube called somethikg like "My cluster B parent died and I did not care" that narrates his own real childhood story and how he ended up being a therapist after all. This video is helping me detach because at the moment his actions still affect me badly.

I think people should watch this video... And sorry for the dark note

Cheers

This perspective betrays a complete lack of understanding and experience of being chronically suicidal. Inflicting the responsibility of how others conduct themselves on someone, particularly one in a vulnerable state, is beyond repugnant.

The only effective mechanism for prevention of chronic suicidality is to create an environment in which one can actively, freely, and legitimately choose to participate when they’re at their most vulnerable.

Why did this help me?

My pet budgie has often been my lifeline and still sometimes is. I'm doing a bit better now, but I'm forever grateful to the little featherball.

Obligatory birb tax:

Their brain is free real estate. Living there is rent free!

Yeah that's the main problem I have with it too. It's not okay to harm everyone who's close to you just because you want to die.

They helped me...

Definitely one of my more controversial posts to be sure.