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submitted 3 months ago by MicroWave@lemmy.world to c/world@lemmy.world

A former model who was a finalist in the Miss Switzerland contest was allegedly murdered and "pureed" in a blender by her husband, officials in Switzerland are reported to have said.

Kristina Joksimovic, 38, was found dead in her home in Binningen, near Basel, Switzerland, in February this year.

According to local news outlet BZ Basel, a man named Thomas, 41, had an appeal for release from custody denied by the Federal Court in Lausanne on Wednesday after he reportedly confessed to killing his wife, with whom he had two children.

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[-] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 203 points 3 months ago

BZ Basel also said Thomas was arrested the day after Ms Joksimovic's body was found, and initially told investigators he had found her dead and dismembered her body in their laundry room in panic.

Let those who have not dismembered a family member in a panic with a jigsaw and garden shears before dissolving their pulped body in a bath of acid throw the first stone.

[-] Plopp@lemmy.world 70 points 3 months ago

When you put it like that... Maybe we shouldn't be so quick to judge.

[-] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 30 points 3 months ago

It was self defense, after all, and one can never be too safe.

[-] db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 3 months ago

Woman must have been an antideluvian vampire to require such extreme measures.

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[-] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

There's a documentary on Hulu I highly recommend called The Jinx, about multimillionaire serial killer Robert Durst. One of my favorite lines from him is "I did not kill my best friend, but I did dismember him".

His family owns like half of NYC. Someone I know used to work directly under them and can confirm the batshit runs down the whole family tree.

[-] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

No spoilers, but the very end of that series is absolutely insane. Up there with "Icarus" or "An Honest Liar" as great documentaries that end up having a completely unpredictable twist that changes the trajectory of the film completely.

[-] paddirn@lemmy.world 122 points 3 months ago

That’s an episode of “Will It Blend?” I didn’t think we’d ever get in real life.

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 26 points 3 months ago

You're terrible, even by my standards, which are impressively low

[-] paddirn@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

I like to treat every standard like a limbo bar and see how much lower I can go.

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[-] InvertedParallax@lemm.ee 99 points 3 months ago

A former model who was a finalist in the Miss Switzerland contest was allegedly murdered and “pureed” in a blender by her husband, officials in Switzerland are reported to have said.

That's, that's a brand new sentence.

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 62 points 3 months ago

This is the most psychopathic thing I have seen in quite some time. wtf

[-] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

Yeah I didn't need to read this headline as soon as I woke up

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[-] Sanctus@lemmy.world 60 points 3 months ago

This story is wild to read, how do you purée someone and still find a body and determine they were strangled?

[-] Sylvartas@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago

I mean, considering how some of them can struggle with ice cubes, you'd need one hell of a (consumer grade) blender to effectively get rid of a body

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[-] linearchaos@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago

I suspect he vastly underestimated the scope of the job.

Shopkeeper: Oh, hello Thomas, back already? How was that blender? Not big enough you say? Well how big do you need? A whole large coconut you say?

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[-] thawed_caveman@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

The article is unclear about which body parts were dismantled and blended, i assume he just did the arms and legs or something. Which leaves a lot of the body to be found and analyzed.

Basically, if i get this right, he was cutting the body in pieces and blending them one by one, which i assume must be a long process so no wonder he got caught. Honestly if i were to get rid of a body that would also be my plan in its entirety

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[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 58 points 3 months ago

"the ruling from the court held Ms Joksimovic was strangled to death."

CSI Switzerland must be fucking wizards, man.

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[-] Erasmus@lemmy.world 51 points 3 months ago

Because what sane person, who upon walking into their home and finding a loved one unconscious (or even worse :dead:) doesn’t reach for their blender.

Amiright, guys??

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[-] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 46 points 3 months ago

What brand was this blender? I would like to know, not because I have any former models that need blending, but because that thing must've been a tank

[-] variants@possumpat.io 19 points 3 months ago

I mean they found a body so I assume it wasn't that great

[-] dan1101@lemm.ee 9 points 3 months ago

The Swiss make some great precision machinery, I bet it was a Swiss brand.

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[-] WoahWoah@lemmy.world 41 points 3 months ago

He did what with the what now!?

[-] spongeborgcubepants@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago
[-] catbum@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)
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[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 39 points 3 months ago

Because that would sure eliminate the DNA evidence...

A murderer and a moron.

[-] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

Redundant, 99.99% of murderers are complete morons.

[-] sudo@lemmy.today 10 points 3 months ago

Well clearly this guy was smoothie brained.

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[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

I don't know about morons, but you have to be pretty ignorant to think you can get away with murdering your spouse these days.

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[-] Aarrodri@lemmy.world 32 points 3 months ago
[-] Cephalotrocity@biglemmowski.win 25 points 3 months ago

I have to go through the entire rest of the day having this in the back of my mind the whole time. GFD. 🫣

[-] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 3 months ago

What. The fuck.

[-] Cataphract@lemmy.ml 22 points 3 months ago

My mind couldn't contemplate the title when I first read it. I thought this was some sort of AI art or deep fake "blender" program that he was selling nudes or vids of her that he had constructed.... the whole actual person being put into a blender just didn't even compute.

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[-] moon@lemmy.ml 22 points 3 months ago

The start of the headline lured me in for the biggest WTF moment I've had in ages. I'll be sweating bullets the next time I see something about a former model/Miss-Wherever

[-] Seleni@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

People following the story of a former Olympic runner: First time?

[-] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 21 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

They quoted the word "pureed" which means there was butter and potato starch involved

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[-] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago

What the fuck bros

[-] Dremor@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

Poor girl...

[-] chalupapocalypse@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago
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I did not expect to read "Blender" and "Model" in this context ever.

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[-] gencha@lemm.ee 13 points 3 months ago

And it was a hand blender even. Wow

[-] somebodysomewhere@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

Wow is right. That man probably voided his warranty if he blended her feet.

[-] eran_morad@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

MBS gonna hire this guy

[-] FangedWyvern42@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

Jesus fucking Christ.

[-] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

What the actual fuck? No jail for this motherfucker, just throw him into a vulcano

[-] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago
[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago

This is human smoke. Don't breathe this.

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this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024
305 points (94.5% liked)

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