I hate that moment when your lungs shut down at night.
also your heart
And my axe...
And my sword!
Apnea sucks.
That's your throat.
There's two kinds. In one you snore. In the other your body just forgets to breathe.
Get checked for sleep apnea.
I've mastered the art of going to the bathroom to piss without fully waking myself up
Bedwetting?
Dude, that's the dream.
Hopefully not literally
Wet dream
I don't wake up at all. 2/10, would not recommend. 3/10 with rice
Please teach me your ways
Keep your eyes open only enough to not bump into stuff. Close when not needed
He calls his bed “bathroom” and just pisses himself
Use a bottle (don't do this).
The solution is to stop drinking any liquids like 4 hours before bed and pee right before bed. That way you can just become dehydrated overnight which means that when you wake up you will want water desperately which will help you get your ass out of bed too
Liquids aren't even the issue. Salt is. Every time I gorge myself on some smoked salmon before bedtime I inevitably wake up in the middle of the night. Apparently getting rid of some salt is somehow now important than a good night's sleep. My bladder isn't going to corrode just because I have slightly more salt in it. Let me fucking sleep!
Your entire nervous and vascular system reading this be like am I a joke to you
Condom catheters, my dude. It's a catheter you don't have to insert. Just gotta get used to pissing the bed again.
My bed shares a wall with the toilet. I’ve been debating routing the plumbing in to the closet and installing a urinal.
Urinal in the toilet or bedroom? In case you wanna Min Max it
The toilet and shower are opposite my closet wall. I’d really only need a drain and a bottle of water to wash it down. I’d turn half my closet in to a washroom I guess.
Does it share a wall with the tub? Just put a little piss slot in the wall. Cheaper.
No tub, but the shower yes. I could just run the pipe through the wall to the toilet tank… save money refilling that thing too!
Pipe? What pipe? I said piss slot I meant piss slot
Piss pipe, bro. Get on board!
That sounds like something I should hook up next to my bum hose.
Use the window
Catheter required less plumbing and is only moderately more gross
Yeah but that doesn't fix the problem of having to out of bed. Once I do that, there's no going back to sleep. I'm up for the rest of the day, too tired to accomplish anything.
It saves me from having to walk all the way around and bang my knee on the coffee table or whatever
That's me every single night
stop having liquids 3 hours before bedtime.
You can't tell me what to do!
You should be fine as long as you wear those magical pants to sleep in as well.
Pssshh, then how would I drink myself to sleep.
What if Im thirsty?
After I wake up and take my nightly midnight turd sesh (all y'all lucky piss losers) I drink about as much water as I pissed away. What's the point of having a fancy water bottle if you don't use it and keep it full of ice water 24/7
It’s called a catheter! Does not everyone use one every night!?!??!? /s
Body: you're so thirsty. dehydrated. tongue sticking to your mouth, so thiiiiirsty. go pee eight times before falling asleep and evacuate every fluid ounce of fucking water in your body for no reason thiiiiiiirsty
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