YDI

If someone acted like this towards me, told me I absolutely had to be trans, I would have stayed in that egg way fucking longer. You don't get to decide someone is trans anymore than a mod does, the only person who can decide is the person themselves.

You're being hostile in what should be a friendly and welcoming space, the mod did a good thing here and you probably need to spend some time reflecting on your actions.

As a trans woman who wears jeans and Ts and feels more at home in a machine shop than a stitch and bitch (although stitch and bitches rock) the narrative that feminine coded behaviour is a necessary and/or sufficient condition for being a trans woman is deeply damaging medicalised bullshit.

Don't push people to perform cisness or transness, just let them discover themselves.

YDI, your behavior is incredibly hostile and uncalled for. Also WTF? Claiming people can't play the girl characters and have long hair while still being cis? What the hell, that sounds so dumb and outdated, people can like whatever the fuck they want without it having a deeper meaning. Who the Fuck do you think you are to try and argue otherwise?

Also it's a two day ban, take the mod's advice and cool your head, instead of starting more shit.

Fuck you, hiding behind the Egg prime directive so you can deny trans people the ability to break out of their eggs, you should be ashamed of yourself whoever made you a mod of a trans friendly space should be ashamed of themselves, you're not even trans you have no right to determine whether we are valid or not. Fuck you hiding behind vague ass ideology. LET TRANS PEOPLE HELP OUT EGGS IN DENIAL! b

Don't deny the validity of the signs of being trans. Do you really think that it's cis for a boy to play as girl characters and like to have long hair and dress feminine. Don't hide behind the egg prime directive either, so many of us aren't given what we need to break out of denial and end up transitioning much later than we should. I could've transitioned 10 years earlier and I would pass much better but I wasn't given the opportunity because the people who would've helped me kept me in denial. Fuck you and people who hide behind this shit to avoid helping trans people. You should be ashamed of yourself

YDI. Bruh, I played as girl characters and liked to have long hair (before I got older and wiser and realized long hair is SUCH a fucking hassle, how did I spend so many years with it?!) and I turned out cis. I played with porcelain dolls, for Christ's sake. Don't reinforce gender stereotypes.

YDI, and it's a 2 day ban, chill out.

'Cis boys can't play as girl characters or have long hair or dress feminine' is a gender stereotype. There's no reason cis boys can't do that. Or trans boys for that matter.

You mention in your comment that you could've transitioned earlier if someone just forced you to stop being in denial, but the thing is everyone isn't you with the exact same needs as you had. There are feminine men out there who don't need to be told that actually, they're women and lying to themselves. Some of them may or may not wind up deciding to transition in some way. But that is something for them to decide, not for you to force on them because you have distressing feelings about when you started your own transition.

Everyone needs support to explore their gender and gender expression, no matter what it is. If you'd had that you would have likely accepted your gender and transitioned sooner. It sucks that you didn't have it (I didn't either), but we can't change that now. All you can do is try to make that environment for other people, and telling them that their gender must be this because of x, y, z reason isn't a supportive environment for exploring gender.

Playing girls in videogames is a sign of being trans now? Hello stereotype.

Gods damn, YDI big time.

You were being a complete asshole. Shit, I'd have banned you permanently, not just temporary. Way over the line of civility.

Why are you suggesting what is cis or trans or anything else for someone else's brain? It comes off like bullies I might have seen in the 90s. "Oh you like art and fantasy? F**!" "Oh you like cooking, like a woman???" It's best not to make rules of identity for how people express themselves.

Liking art didn't make me gay, and liking cooking didn't make me a woman, despite what someone said about me then.

Can you all stop downvoting the OP? Please?

OP, you probably already the stuff that I'm going to say; I'll share for the sake of others.

Here's what I believe to be the first part of the comic from the OOP (it seems to have been deleted):

TL;DR of the "Egg Prime Directive": "the fact that trans people have an unspoken agreement not to tell people who are questioning their gender whether or not they are trans."

Now here's my take: YDI.

We humans do the same things for different reasons. And we should not be assuming why someone else does it.

That's one of the aspects of the egg prime directive, and the mod is simply acknowledging it - that the only person who perhaps knows why that AMAB kid is playing as a girl character is the kid themself. (Or why the AFAB kid is playing as a boy character.)

The other aspect is that, even if the person happens to be trans, you don't break an egg open from the outside; instead you keep the egg warm and the nest comfy. You don't deny it, but you don't confirm it, you make sure that the person feels loved regardless of their identity.

So no, the egg prime directive is not some "vague ass ideology", as you called it. It has good reasons to exist. Not following it does more harm than good.

Beyond that: yes, you were enforcing gender stereotypes. And yes, you were rude and hostile.

I also think that the 2d "chill your head!" ban was appropriate.

You were banned for hostility and rudeness, and I cannot help agreeing with it.

Jumping on this too. YDI.

Before I was out, this attitude hurt me tremendously. The egg prime directive needs to be handled with care, or not handled at all. No one tells me how to identity. NO ONE.