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I have heard from multiple people that eye contact is essential in letting a girl (or guy, I guess) know you're interested.
But what is the 411 when it comes to said eye contact? Do you keep looking until she does? Do you then keep staring? Or is like looking at the sun? What's the deal?
One element is to smile with your teeth. If a woman smiles with her mouth closed, it's just a friendly thing. Old gf told me that and a couple of decades of observation have born that truth out.
Know that face you make when you really want to smile, but are obviously holding it in? That can work.
Making strong eye contact, holding-it-in-smile, then blushing away, just to look again with a full-teeth smile sends a strong signal.
OTOH, if you have to consciously think about how to compose your face, you better be a trained actor. Humans have a solid sixth-sense for the disingenuous.
In any case, don't merely stare without expression. Yikes.
It’s not just eye contact, there’s all the rest of it too including other body language and how you’re speaking to someone.
That said, I used to occasionally hang with a guy that chased all the girls (the kind of guy that would ignore you as soon as a girl he could be interested in showed up) and he would all but stare at her in conversation. Made me uncomfortable by proxy, lol. Seemed effective, but that’s what he did.
It's all vibes. There is no cheat code, you just have to grok social ques by spending lots of time with people. Put your 10000 hours in, its worth it people are fascinating.
What do you do with the vibrations? What frequency?
I’m told you are supposed to pick up the good ones.
grok social ques
Best possible word choice to tell us you can't do it yourself.
how dare you. I have friends they just go to a different school
Snap snap grin grin wink wink nudge nudge say no more! Know what I mean, nudge nudge?
The trick is to never look away. Stare till they notice, then keep staring. Have to get up to use the restroom? Maintain eye contact as long as possible and reestablish it the moment you're back in sight. If they get up, the responsibility to maintain that eye contact is on you. Make sure to stay within eyesight, following them if necessary. This is your chance, we're rooting for you!
Just smile, like genuinely, and wave or acknowledge her with your head when she looks. And if she turns away then stop, she's not interested or she's playing manipulation games. There's no "right look", that's something Hollywood made up for romance movies. The only bad thing you could do is exactly what they do in those movies. Sitting across the room and trying to just use your eyes reads as creepy. So if you're trying to catch her eye, you should also be trying to get to her, talk to her.
Eye contact is basic human communication of “I’m cool with you.” Don’t rely on it to express romantic interest. Avoiding eye contact can express a lot of things, most of them negative. Sure, you can express more with a look but it can come off creepy if you don’t have a rapport with that person.
Make eye contact when talking to or listening to all people you like. That’s just basic social interaction. If you’re interested in someone romantically, tell them—ask them out.
There’s no secret handshake or look. Talk to them.
That's the neat part, I don't.
All eye contact is “I am interested in you” eye contact.
To do this, you look at the person’s eyes while they are looking at yours.
At first, you look at them until they notice, then you look away. The first time, they'll probably be irritated, because for all they know, you looked at them, because their hair looks silly or whatever. Then give it some time before you look again. In some sense, you can play it like you've just been caught looking at them, so you don't want to be caught again right away.
Then you repeat that a couple times and try to gauge their reaction (without directly looking at them). If they catch onto you and make an ew face, then definitely abort mission. If they smile, that's a good sign.
Then you can try to hold the stare a little longer before looking away and again, see if they smile. Eventually, you can try keeping the eye contact for a few seconds while they smile at you and then you smile back.
At that point, it's definitely time to talk to them. They would not keep up the smile, if they had doubts about going on a date, although it's obviously still not a guarantee. Sometimes, they only realize that they can't follow through when it gets serious.
But this whole spiel does communicate that you're shy about it. If that's not how you feel, it's better to talk to them right away.
In general, the more time you take before doing the talk, the more serious it is, because then it's not just a spontaneous "you're cute, wanna go out and see if we fit", but rather a "I've been observing you for the past weeks and worked out that you are my dream partner ~~please marry me right away~~". So, yeah, don't take too long before you talk to them.
