this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2025
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JFK files reveal Lee Harvey Oswald played violent video games (hard-drive.net)
submitted 1 week ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works
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The recent declassification of all records relating to President John F. Kennedy’s assassination has revealed that the event was motivated entirely by Lee Harvey Oswald’s lifelong obsession with violent video games, historians announced.

“For the first time ever, we’re able to look back on that day with almost perfect clarity,” explained Owen Císte-Torthaí, professor of history at the University of Maryland. “All the ridiculous speculation and conspiracy theories can finally be put to rest. We know exactly why Kennedy was assassinated, and like every act of violence, it’s because of video games.”

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[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 28 points 6 days ago (1 children)

God damn the only reason I didn't eat the onion was because I knew the timelines didn't add up.

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I was definitely trying to think what possible video game could it be

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

GTA 5. It's been out that long.

[–] some_guy 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Pretty primitive. Duck Hunt.

[–] moody@lemmings.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Duck Hunt is from 1984

[–] some_guy 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

But it's not because Lee Harvey Oswald played it.

[–] MHLoppy@fedia.io 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Literally 1984

[–] some_guy 2 points 5 days ago

No, see LHO played it. That's how he got radicalized.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 9 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Clearly he conducted the assassination in real life because of his obsessive addiction to topping the leaderboard of JFK Reloaded.

(You can probably find the actual abandonware game floating around the internet somewhere if you look.)

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

It's on the internet archives!

https://archive.org/details/jfk-reloaded

[–] Coreidan@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

Ok but what about the guy who actually killed JFK and not the scape goat?

[–] limer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 6 days ago

The stealth shooter games in the 1960s were very under the radar; it’s so brave the information is out there. Now, everyone will know.

[–] nihilist_hippie@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 days ago

That pesky 'Tennis for Two'!! Fills kids with ideas of Satan!!

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 1 points 6 days ago

Proven ticket holder to "Revenge of the killer tomatoes" would have been more credible for early 1960s.

[–] MuAraeOracle@real.lemmy.fan 1 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Oswald was p0wning the noobs on his PDP-4 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/PDP-4