I would abolish banana peels. They cause far too many injuries and I think doing away entirely could calm everyone, especially those in banana-rich areas where peels are most common.
this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2025
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Money. It's just a mechanism of control because those with the power to share never learned to do so. They're the kids at the playground hogging the swing set while everyone else is getting wood chips kicked in their face. Humanity in a nutshell.
Maybe not humorous, but I hope it paints a picture.
Conservatism
What good has it fucking done us
Our modern day concept of ownership.
Okay, humorously...
Eating pizza with a fork. If you're afraid of hot grease burning a trail down your arm, you don't deserve to enjoy good pizza.
Reasonable exceptions for children and the disabled can be made.
But if you put ranch on it you should be thrown in Guantanamo Bay.
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(2 replies)
Pineapple. Not just on pizza (although that is an abomination), but all pineapple in food or drinks. It's weird and slimy and its taste taints everything it touches. Plus fresh pineapple is trying to digest you while you eat it. Just a horrible fruit all around.
I will not be swayed by counter arguments.
This is me with mango. Disgusting ass food that's related to poison ivy. No thanks!
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First, I'll abolish your milk
Then, I shall abolish your VIRGINITY
I want to abolish door knobs. They account for a thousand injuries in the world every few months. They must go.
(For the sake of the question since the question is over everyone's head in the section)