this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2025
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badposting

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badposting is a comm where you post badly

This is not a !the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net alternative. This is not a !memes@hexbear.net alternative. This is a place for you to post your bad posts.

Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who's been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?

Rules:

  1. Do not post good posts.
    • Unauthorized goodposting is to be punished in the manner of commenting the phrase "GOOD post" followed by an emoji that has not yet been used in the thread
    • Use an emoticon/kaomoji/rule-three-abiding ASCII art if the rations run out
  2. This is not a comm where you direct people to other people's bad posts. This is a comm where you post badly.
  3. This rule intentionally left blank.
  4. If you're struck for rule 3, skill issue, not allowed to complain about it.

Code of Conduct applies just as much here as it does everywhere else. Technically, CoC violations are bad posts. On the other hand: L + ratio + get ~~better~~ worse material bozo

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49
Change your vocabulary to be more pro bicycle (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 day ago by 7bicycles@hexbear.net to c/badposting@hexbear.net
10 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Instead of saying "thems the breaks", say "thems the rim-brakes".

Instead of saying "I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place", say "I'm stuck between an SUV and also another, larger, SUV"

Instead of saying "as the crow flies", say "as the flying pigeon rides"

Instead of saying "bite the bullet", say "mount the schwalbe marathon"

Instead of saying "Cutting corners", say "cutting corners (on a bicycle)"

Instead of saying "Go back to the drawing board", say "Go back to the bicycle workshop"

Instead of saying "It's not rocket science", say "It's not retrodirect chainline"

Instead of saying "no pain, no gain", say "Don't ride upgrades, ride up grades"

Instead of saying "pull yourself together", say "Pull your peloton together"

Instead of saying "best of both worlds", say "gravel bike"

Instead of saying "don't get bent out of shape," say "don't be a steelframe"

Instead of saying "A penny saved is a penny earned", say "a gram saved is a gram earned"

Instead of saying "A picture is worth 1000 words", say "a pedalstroke is worth 1000 steps"

Instead of saying "Add insult to injury", say "add chainless drive to a vanmoof"

Instead of saying "Don't cry over spilt milk", say "Don't cry over spilt sealant"

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[–] Budwig_v_1337hoven@hexbear.net 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Instead of saying "It's all downhill from here" (negative), say "It's all downhill from here" (positive)

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

banger

[–] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 3 points 1 day ago

Instead of saying 'Fuck off', say 'On yer bike, mate'

[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

good post

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

it is not, but thank you

[–] noolder@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This one got me. Instead of saying "best of both worlds", say "gravel bike"

[–] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 1 points 1 day ago

Could also be the more derogatory 'Master of none'

[–] Ildsaye@hexbear.net 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Wish I could find a vintage gravel (vintage cos repairable) in my size (tall) and price range (poor)

I guess what I really wish for is gravel bikes to be as ubiquitous and cheap as the old road bikes that I always end up going for sicko-wistful

Be nice to have something more sturdy to haul groceries in, without quite as much friction as a full on mountain bike. And I strongly prefer the types of handlebars that allow varied hand positions.

Does any particualr old model stand out as having more staying power in terms of spare parts availability?

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

90s steel frame MTB, knock off surly corner bars, done

[–] Ildsaye@hexbear.net 4 points 1 day ago

Thank you!