this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2025
1094 points (98.8% liked)

Not The Onion

15968 readers
1696 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Godofdirt@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago

If ever a man needed to be stripped of his power and influence

[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago (2 children)

They way he treats his kids, he is building a legion to hunt him down

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 29 points 1 week ago (12 children)

what's with billionaires and wanting to have so many bloody babies

load more comments (12 replies)
[–] vga@sopuli.xyz 28 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I find it weird that he can be like that and still be alive. Does he bring security to absolutely everywhere he is?

[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's easy to forget just how much money a billion dollars is, let alone hundreds of billions.

You could hire three hundred people at a very generous salary of $250k/year. 8 hour shifts, that gives you 100 people guarding you 24/7. That would $75 million/year. You could do that off the investment income from a single billion dollars. Pay them the salary more typical of a security guard, like $50k/year, and Musk could be surrounding 24/7 by one hundred thousand security guards, and it would cost him $15 billion/year. He has enough wealth to afford that if he really wanted to. The man could take a cue from ancient Rome and commission his own army if he wanted to.

We need to eliminate billionaires. No one should have this type of power.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ellypony@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Nasty ass loser. trifling ass hentai addict type thought process. I've known life-long basement dewllers, they could NEVER be caught acting like this. They're mostly just awkward and sweet with mild social impairment. Then again none of them are billionaires LMAO. It must be the entitlement of people like this.

You know that image of the greasy neckbeard guy with the ugly hat who lives in his mother's basement? The one that floats around in everyone's head at the idea of a 30+ year old man living alone with his mother. That guy will be getting mad pussy. That guy will find genuine companionship with a human. All because they don't see others as receptacles for procreation.

All of the images, and memes, and greentext horror stories; all of the stereotypical caricatures of creeps. None of that could have prepared me for this. None of them fit the boot. I have never had the hairs on my neck stand up like I just did reading about that.

This guy is the King Kong of creeps. The final boss.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I am not surprised. Elon is an accelerationist who believes that the next social turmoil will definitely be coming. But since it is going to happen, he thinks it is better if it comes sooner rather than later.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] airportline@lemm.ee 25 points 1 week ago

He’s such a weird little creep

[–] Jaysyn@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Would be awesome to see all of his businesses fail to the point he can't cover his child support.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ericatty@infosec.pub 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How many heirs fighting in courts all over the world does it take to redistribute a multi-billioniare's wealth through court fees, lawyer fees, accountants, penalties, etc until none of them are supreme-wealthy anymore? Just never work again wealthy.

Even if some of them don't really want it, they could still find lawyers to fight on contingency and let them drain the wealth. Then donate whatever they might eventually get, if anything.

For example, Anna Nicole and her late husband's son effectively fed lawyers for years and years. Michael Jackson's estate has been tied up in litigation for decades. And Mike had 3 kids, Anna one surviving kid.

With over a dozen and counting Leon kids, and a ton of potential other types of suits incoming from world-wide plantiffs, it'll be interesting to see how that estate eventually gets drained and dispersed.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 30 points 1 week ago (5 children)

His money is basically incomprehensible to how we regularly think. If he hired a law firm to work on each case 24/7 for the entire year at $5000/hr, and then even if each inheritance case took 20 years and he had 50 children suing him simultaneously it'd cost him billions--but he'd still have hundreds of billions left. Fuck billionaires

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 1 week ago

My contempt for this man has reached levels previously thought far outside the realm of possibility.

[–] LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

God and I thought the plot of the Fallout TV show was absurd with the "Bud's Buds" shit but it's literally real

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] PanArab@lemm.ee 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Hopefully they all end up like his daughter.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 24 points 1 week ago
[–] amadeus84@lemm.ee 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It will be a fine day when he has an OD on stage.

load more comments (1 replies)

We're in dire need of some italian plumbing.

[–] NostraDavid@programming.dev 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

When she didn’t sign the NDA, the payments were reportedly slashed, and eventually cut again to $20,000 a month.

Oh no! Only 20,000 dollahs!? That poor woman must now be living on water and bread for the rest of her life!

Listen, I get it - Musk is using his money to manipulate people and he's an asshole for that, but the cry story is just bleh.

[–] misteloct@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (12 children)

He promised $15m and $100k / month. Would you honestly sleep with Musk and carry the weirdo's kid for any less? I'd need $20k/mo just to have dinner with the guy once.

load more comments (12 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] TronBronson@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

Ah yes make money exploiting people, use it to exploit people, so glad we're too enlightened to tax these people or bind them to our laws.

[–] glebyglobster@lemm.ee 13 points 1 week ago (4 children)

this has to be satire, there’s no way

[–] MDCCCLV@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

We've already had reports of him propositioning employees for sex for money. You don't think he considers everyone on Twitter his property?

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›