this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 181 points 2 months ago (6 children)

I took a fat, greasy shit today.

Yeah, I admit it.

And I'm sure many of you out there have taken your fair share.

But why am I bringing this up?

For two reasons:

  1. Because no topic is off limits and
  2. Because it's important to be aware of the consequences of eating Chipotle

There are some things that need to be done in moderation.

For some (including myself), questionable food is one of them.

Be very aware of the things that if you do too much cause more harm than good.

Carry on.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 52 points 2 months ago (3 children)
[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 48 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Bro, apples don’t poop. WTF

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 35 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They do, but only when you’re not looking.

[–] mutual_ayed@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago

More useful than the original.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Because it’s important to be aware of the consequences of eating Chipotle

South Park joke about Chipotle making you shit your pants

Chipoltaway ad

[–] multiplemigs@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

might want to look in to getting a little more fiber in that diet if it was greasy. drink more water too.

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Ok coca cola corp

[–] balder1991@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

This cracked me up.

[–] biofaust@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As a European, the only information I have about Chipotle is that makes you shit greasy and greatly. Sounds like something straight out of Idiocracy from here.

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[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 81 points 2 months ago (2 children)

The “Carry on” at the end - like he’s stopped you in the street to share this nugget of wisdom, and is giving you a firm pat on the shoulder before sending me on your way.

[–] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 71 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I do watch porn. But at least I'm on an ANONYMOUS FUCKING INTERNET FORUM so I can say it.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 63 points 2 months ago (2 children)

just for shits and giggles I went through the last 7 days of your comments and took notes:

  • UK citizen (uses currency and talks about local chocolate brands)
  • SteamDeck owner
  • soccer/football fan
  • gamer
  • DRM hater
  • frequent videogame pirate (knows the name of a less popular repacker)
  • work at job about shoes
  • doesn't have a foot fetish
  • boycotting the US
  • Porn watcher (probs older bc you referenced a specific one and people don't do that nowadays)

From this I would have to call every shoe stores in the UK to inform them that there is a miniscule chance their employee watches porn in their free time.

I wasted like 20m on this lol

And to be fair I'm not any better, I doxxed my full location on lemmy once accidentally 😂

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Except for the foot things; that doesn't narrow it down at all!

[–] biofaust@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Given access to the right data, even just the first 2 bits would narrow it down a lot.

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[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 8 points 2 months ago
  • boycotting the US

[–] Sandal6823@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Anonymous? I know your E Mail, IP Address and will analyze all your previous posts

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Is email really visible, I thought that wasn't displayed publicly. I don't see your email

[–] modus@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

It's only visible to you. Everyone else sees it censored. Here's mine in plaintext: xxxxxxx@xxxxx.xxx

You shouldn't see my email address. Only yours.

[–] xthexder@l.sw0.com 9 points 2 months ago

I'm disappointed... It looks like all the x.xxx domains were registered in 2012 and are just parked (or maybe the register reserved them? I can't tell). It would have been fun if this could be a real email.

[–] Sandal6823@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago

It's visible if I pay $500 to the admins

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

Settle down Francis.

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[–] RobotZap10000@feddit.nl 53 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"No topic is off limits" and "Be aware of indulgences in your life" are, in my opinion, great pieces of advice that you should apply to your close ones. However, LinkedIn is definitely not the place for this.

[–] zeca@lemmy.eco.br 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

as someone that never took anything worthwhile out of linkedin, i kind of like that people post this stuff there :P

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

This is solidly Facebook.

[–] corroded@lemmy.world 45 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's amazing how someone's job description can say "Scammer" in so many more words.

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[–] nimble@lemmy.blahaj.zone 41 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I had to look up what "digital real estate" is and best i can tell it's something like real estate in the metaverse, hoarding website domains, or some other bullshit

[–] mutual_ayed@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

The future is a dead mall. If you have the time, this is a great documentary on it. Line Only Goes Up is great by him too.

https://archive.org/details/the-future-is-a-dead-mall-decentraland-and-the-metaverse

[–] CurlyWurlies4All@slrpnk.net 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just about everything Dan Olson does is amazing

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[–] roserose56@lemmy.ca 25 points 2 months ago

Linkedin is comedy heaven, I always lough with the content.

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Theres 2 kinds of men, those who jerk off and fucking liars.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago

true but... linkedin?

linkedin?

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[–] HorreC@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

you mean the same porn industry that makes billions a year, you mean you are the single person funding them! I couldnt think that people watch that stuff.

[–] Case@lemmynsfw.com 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just like that one kid who got caught buying a dime bag of weed. They directly and solely funded terrorism.

[–] HorreC@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

It has to be true no one else did the drugs!

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[–] TabbsTheBat@pawb.social 18 points 2 months ago

Imagine not looking at porn at work, couldn't be me

[–] FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago

There are A LOT of things that are off limits in the workplace.

[–] the_q@lemm.ee 13 points 2 months ago

Capitalism is a helluva drug.

[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago
[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 5 points 2 months ago

Worked with a guy who was obsessed with Tim Ferris and his 'Opening the Kimono' philosophy on transparency.

Dude took it really far when he pushed for nude events and "Tell All's" at our company retreat.

Later quit to run some crypto scam.

[–] loomy@lemy.lol 5 points 2 months ago

kinda confusing

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