this post was submitted on 03 May 2025
175 points (95.3% liked)

Not The Onion

16102 readers
2762 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

The sheer scale of oblivious stupidity is fucking breathtaking with these fascist morons! 🤦

all 31 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

Ah.

She's using RIAA 'piracy costs us more than the GDP of the world' style logic/math to determine that ~75% of America would have OD'd on fentanyl if not for the claimed fentanyl interception amounts.

Like by this logic, I've personally saved thousands, even tens of thousands of lives by isolating when I had Covid.

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 3 points 8 hours ago

USAID says tens of thousands will die.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 27 points 21 hours ago

I just had a revelation.

[–] klemptor@startrek.website 62 points 1 day ago (2 children)

... there are only about 350M Americans. She's saying 74% have been saved.

What a goddamn fucking moron liar.

[–] krakenfury 19 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Do you think she believes her own bullshit? I'm honestly not sure. This claim is so insane, but all of MAGA seem to have a vested interest that Trump is a Christian prophet or messiah.

[–] radix@lemmy.world 18 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

The way she not only says the number, but pauses and makes sure everyone is paying attention.... I'm thinking she is just that god damned stupid.

[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 10 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

Don't give her credit. She is head fascist propaganda operative. She's knows she's lying every time her lips move. She's as much the antichrist as Trump.

[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 4 hours ago

Nearly everyone in Trump's inner circle is incredibly stupid. The closest intelligent person I can think of is Peter Thiel, and he's just the handler of the backup Vice President. They're evil, to be sure, but they're usually also morons.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 5 points 21 hours ago

He saved us by golfing instead of being even more destructive.

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 24 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

One day there will be a history book detailing the amount of Americans Pam has killed and how that was justification for her death sentence in Nuremberg Trials 2.

[–] AJ1@lemmy.ca 6 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

yeah, the alternate timeline

god I wish we were there instead

[–] futatorius@lemm.ee 2 points 13 hours ago

Be the change you want to see in the world.

[–] vxx@lemmy.world 0 points 13 hours ago

Is that alternative timeline stuff a replacement for believing in god?

[–] biofaust@lemmy.world 43 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Legally Blonde was made in vain.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Not according to Reese Witherspoon's accountant!

And fans of the movie, I guess 🤷

[–] biofaust@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Culturally, its conclusion seems to have been subverted by this prominent cut of meat covered in blonde fur who was awarded a Law degree.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

She has a degree in law, not a law degree.

[–] gonzo-rand19@moist.catsweat.com 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

She has a BA in criminal justice and a JD. Not that she's using either very well.

[–] adarza@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 day ago

what she meant to say is that donvict and co have stolen the equivalent of the life savings of 258 million americans.

[–] flightyhobler@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The daily show did a great sketch on this. wish I could find it on YouTube.

[–] leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl 6 points 21 hours ago

if trumpy ~~could count~~ has concepts of numbers, he will think this is an insult.

[–] kikutwo@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

She's completely insane.

[–] MyOpinion@lemm.ee 6 points 22 hours ago

When a MAGAt is speaking you know it is lies.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 5 points 22 hours ago
[–] n3m37h@sh.itjust.works 5 points 23 hours ago
[–] gedaliyah@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Not human lives, but well... it could be.

[–] RedditIsDeddit@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Pam Bondie lives in a fantasy world

[–] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network -1 points 22 hours ago

Shut up and go make Dagwood a sandwich, Blondi.