this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 53 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you write commit messages like this, at least have the decency of squashing them when merging. Thanks.

[–] callouscomic@lemmy.zip 19 points 1 week ago

A PR for every tiny commit. You got it.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 42 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Pleasure by William Wallace

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as she allows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide deez nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, get high at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her gangly feet like once.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Fit round that wide hog, whatup fam.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

[–] zerofk@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Shakespeare may have coined a lot of English words, but only Wallace can claim deez nuts.

[–] match@pawb.social 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

cannot believe William Wallace gotem through time

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago

he was fighting the english with his dope rhymes before he ever held the sword

[–] QuazarOmega@lemy.lol 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Really neat, but man, wasn't intending to get teary eyed in the meme community 🥹

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 week ago

Yeah me either, so I fixed it

[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 22 points 1 week ago

At a former workplace I created a leaderboard or most swears in commit messages lol

[–] Redkey@programming.dev 21 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

At the very least, please state which section you made small changes to, even if you are sure it's not worth mentioning what or why.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago

Also, what were you hoping to accomplish? At a minimum, are you fixing a bug? Adding a feature? Cleaning up ugly code? Trying to improve performance? Adding comments to something that wasn't obvious?

Did you change an interface that other people use in a way that might break something? Even if it's fixing a bug, is that a bug that other people might have been relying on?

I think the most problematic changes are the little fixes, because often the CL goes from something that looks like it should work, to something else that also looks like it should work. It's very helpful when the commit message describes how it was broken. Otherwise, if you have to roll back the changes you don't know what might get broken again.

[–] InnerScientist@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"Small changes to everything"
98 files changed, 7568 insertions(+), 1022 deletions(-)

[–] runeko@programming.dev 6 points 1 week ago

"Small changes to a few sections." There. Happy?

[–] GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Curate your commits, friends. They should be structured for the benefit of the reviewer. This can be accomplished with liberal use of interactive rebasing.

[–] Whelks_chance@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

It's fine, the reviewer doesn't have time to actually look at the code anyway. Lgtm, ship it.

[–] QuazarOmega@lemy.lol 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

My best work happens between typing out random stuff and pulling my hair out in the squash and reordering

[–] GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

When in doubt, soft reset everything and commit from the ground up.

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[–] Anafabula@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] QuazarOmega@lemy.lol 3 points 1 week ago

I keep putting that off, but maybe I should really dive into that.
Thanks for telling me about the TUI btw, I didn't know we had that too now!

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

git commit -m 'a meaningful message'

[–] Matt@lemdro.id 4 points 1 week ago

This is where I thought it was going as well.

[–] cannonship@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (6 children)

thank god now we've AI to do this

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[–] limer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 week ago (3 children)

“Sometimes the best way to fix a bug is to introduce an unstable new feature that will later have many bug reports. But the code will now work. And was only written after email chain that har management involved.”

“This is a temporary fix only, and the feature flag it’s under should be turned off after pull request 203. Under no circumstances should bug reports 1923 and 2045 use this new feature to fix issues, even if hours of work can be saved using this ”

“I am blameless for any future issues caused by using this new feature. Here be dragons.”

[–] marcos@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You should put this at the code, or at the flag documentation. The one place you it can't go at all is in a commit message.

[–] limer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

Have better docs in those places; but for a class A mess, like above, make sure the approvers see this front and center. Make them sign for it

[–] baines@lemmy.cafe 2 points 1 week ago

“this is temporary test code that should be removed before delivery to the customer”

this is real

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[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

I once found a commit message in our commit history that just said, "i hate git..." bcz they hadn't changed anything, and I think it took a new line character and decided that they'd actually changed like 5 lines of code twhen they hadn't.

It was the funniest shit, someone who was a senior lead for like 9 years that had left, and 5 years later I find that...

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

git commit -m "A spirit trapped within a tree, no mouth to scream or eyes to see. A cage of bark, a prison of wood. A thing of rage where nature stood."

[–] Ferk@programming.dev 6 points 1 week ago

git commit -m "$(fortune | cowsay)"

[–] PastelKeystone@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Love it.

While folks are thinking about git commit messages I will offer this.

https://cbea.ms/git-commit/

My only criticism of the essay is that the most important bit is listed at number 7.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

See also semantic commit messages where you tag every commit with the type of commit: feature, fix, docs, refactor, test, etc.

My only beef with it is that they chose "feat" as a way to shorten the word "feature" when "feat" is already a word that means something different. Not every feature is a feat, and a lot of the biggest feats are actually bug fixes.

[–] PastelKeystone@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I’ve seen semantic commits done with emojis which is cute but also annoying, because they’re not as easy to type or grep for.

Semantic commits can be nice, but they can also invite bikeshedding about what’s a “feature” and what’s a “bug fix”, etc.

Not saying they aren’t nice, and if folks are using them and liking them, keep going. But if you haven’t used them before on a team, then just be aware that’s a thing than can happen.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 days ago

I'd rather have bikeshedding over terminology that eventually results in a single word than just have free-form commits where you can never tell what the primary motivation between a commit is.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

git commit -m "here is everything in this commit $(tar -czv . | base64)"

[–] InnerScientist@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Go for broke
git commit -m "It works on my machine $(tar -ca . -C / | base64)"

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

git commit -m "Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime so I comment meaningful on company time"

Always put a ticket number in the commit message. That can make it much easier later to find out what the context was for some weird solution.

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

For complex changes go with "self-explanatory" just to fuck with peoples' confidence

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