this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2025
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Chapotraphouse

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69
I've got good news and bad news, folks. Good news: According to social media The Rapture is coming this Tuesday, September 23rd. (hexbear.net)
submitted 3 months ago by JoeByeThen@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
13 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Bad news: They're still gonna need you to come into work on Wednesday.

top 13 comments
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[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 53 points 3 months ago

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 26 points 3 months ago (1 children)

First day of fall so you know what that means, Jesus is a PSL lover. Wow, problematic sweetie.

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago

the-republican "Heesus" huh?? deport him!

cop i have ocularilly patted down the perp and will advance tactically to a kinetic situation flicks off bodycam

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago

I can’t wait for Jesus to get back I’m gonna teach him all the cool new words and phrases we’ve created since he left. Words like “cowabunga” and phrases like “holy frijoles” and “talk to the hand.”

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 14 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Time to join up with the Antichrist!

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago (2 children)

You think it will see the edgy satanic stickers on my hardhat and give me the day off?

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I dunno

I just want a demon or two and this seems like my best option

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

that would be cool as shit

[–] krolden@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

They'll probably make you a sacrifice to the deity

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

At least i won't have to work

[–] Shaleesh@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago

thats good and bad, but whats the news?

[–] Helios44@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago

NOOOOO I had so much life to give