I scuttled away with my human claws up, screeching "whoop whoop whoop" whenever my wife wanted something I didn't like. I still wonder why she left me, Zoidberg!

[–] dwemthy@lemmy.world 68 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!

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[–] Czele@lemmy.world 58 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The female Leela's problem is purely medical. Soon she will drop her eggs and they will hatch and all will be well

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 71 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I love the running joke that he's a horrible human doctor

Zoidberg: There you are, good as new. Except for your dorsal fin, I'm afraid I couldn't find it after the crash.

Fry: Can I live without it?

Zoidberg: If you call that living.

[–] Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 30 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

"now open your mouth and let's have a look at that brain"

"I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's cured."

[–] sawdustprophet@midwest.social 17 points 4 months ago

"now open your mouth and let's have a look at that brain"

"No, not that mouth." "I only have one." "Really?"

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

Young lady, I’m an expert on human physiology.

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[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 49 points 4 months ago

Hermes: Come on, baby needs a new pair of shoes!

Dr. Zoidberg: The hell with your spoiled baby! I need those shoes.

[–] KiwiTB@lemmy.world 48 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Look at me, Dr Zoidberg, Home Owner!

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 18 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Oh, that's where I left my cigar...

[–] remon@ani.social 13 points 4 months ago

That just raises further questions!

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[–] HailReaper69@lemmy.zip 43 points 4 months ago (4 children)

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[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 42 points 4 months ago (1 children)

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

Sweet guinea pig of Winnipeg!

[–] hellothere@sh.itjust.works 42 points 4 months ago

"I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's treated."

I fucking love Zoidberg, he just gets me, yknow?

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 36 points 4 months ago

I use, "Enough of this, I'm going for a scuttle" all the time.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 32 points 4 months ago

"You ALL still have Zoidberg!"

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 28 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

General: What is your purpose here?

[Zoidberg wakes up.]

Zoidberg: [drowsy] Alright, Officer, I'll move along.

Man: What the general means is why did you come to Earth?

Zoidberg: Not a day goes by I don't ask myself the same question.

Truman: If you come in peace, surrender or be destroyed. If you're here to make war, we surrender.

Zoidberg: Both good. The important thing is I'm meeting new people.

Zoidberg: Hooray!

Zoidberg: Take, I've got four of them.

Zoidberg: The president is gagging on my gas bladder. What an honor!

[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

Tbh Roswell that Ends Well was a goated episode from start to finish

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[–] HeartyOfGlass@piefed.social 27 points 4 months ago (2 children)

woop woop woop woop!

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 26 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Zoidberg: "I had garbage yesterday and it didn't cost me $300! I am not paying!"

[–] erie09@lemmy.world 26 points 4 months ago

But still, to have your own pool!

[–] AnarchoEngineer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 4 months ago

My first clue came at 4:15 when the clock stopped. The next clue came 3 hours later at 4:15 when I discovered the body of Amy’s dead deceased corpse

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 24 points 4 months ago

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 23 points 4 months ago

"Hooray, I'm useful! I'm having a wonderful time!"

I relate to this on a spiritual level.

[–] ScrollerBall@lemmy.world 22 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Scalpel. Blood bucket. Priest. Next patient!

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Geez, Zoidberg. Leave some for the enemy to kill.

[–] loweffortname@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

This isn't a war; it's a murder!

[–] Trex202@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

flips switch

This isn't a war; it's a moydah!

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[–] Awa@lemmy.world 22 points 4 months ago

The husband and I quote "one art please" and "your [something] is bad and your should feel bad"

[–] 48954246@lemmy.world 22 points 4 months ago

Your music's bad and you should feel bad!

[–] miked@piefed.social 21 points 4 months ago

Clamps - "Scuttle on home. This ain't none of your business, Slick."

Zoidberg - "My name isn't Slick. It's Zoidberg. JOHN [beep sound]-ING ZOIDBERG!"

The Silence of the Clamps

[–] chesshire@lemmy.world 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"and I'm his friend, Jesus!"

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[–] aarch0x40@lemmy.world 18 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Deviled egg!?

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 14 points 4 months ago

......The same devilled egg

[–] carrylex@lemmy.world 18 points 4 months ago (2 children)

There little friend, good as new

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[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago (2 children)

“Is ‘desire to mate’ a feeling?”

“It’s all so complicated with the flowers and the romance and the LIES UPON LIES!”

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[–] jpablo68@infosec.pub 16 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Goose liver? Fish eggs? Feh! Where's the goose? Where's the fish?

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[–] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip 15 points 4 months ago

“Friends! Help! A guinea pig tricked me!”

[–] ianfraserkrillmaster@midwest.social 14 points 4 months ago

Don't mind if i already did!

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Examples of Zoidberg's astonishingly poor grasp of human anatomy make up my favorite punchlines in the series. Of course Farnsworth would hire the worst (and possibly cheapest) candidate: a doctor that has no idea how his patients are put together.

Open your mouth. No, your other mouth.

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[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago (2 children)

A buffet! Oh, if only I had my wallet with me...

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[–] hayvan@feddit.nl 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"Once again, the conservative, sandwich heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!"

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[–] hydrashok@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Someday they'll watch from down in the gutter, they will, as King Zoidberg caresses their fancy box.

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[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 12 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

JOHN

FUCKING

ZOIDBERG!

[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

"I've lost more patients than he's treated!"

[–] BlueZen@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Laughing at Hemes when they get paired up on Omicron Persei 8... "Screwed again my friend"

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