Iirc the actual wording used in the bibble was something like "showered her in gold." Take that how you like
this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2025
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I am not taking that.
TAKE IT BITCH
It tastes just like raisins
Oops, wrong thing.
GIVE IT BACK
By the stroke of his mane he turns into plane and he turns back again when you tug on his winkie!
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So God gave her an Immaculate Conception .... and Gabriel gave her a golden shower?
The immaculate part was that she was without sin.
Just learned that recently, but I grew up protestant, so that wasn't a thing for us.
My cousin almost got kicked out of catholic school, because when they were covering this, she asked if there was any reason to believe Joseph hadn't simply had a wet dream, and Mary rolled onto it.
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Zeus did it first. Can't believe he's just a copycat.
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Christianity is great--how many other religions were started when a wife cheated on her husband? And don't bring up Zeus because that shit was already in full swing when he started waving his dick(s) around.
IIRC, the titans before the olympians were just as much into infidelity and came from Gaea fucking Uranus (giggity).
Merry Christmas
What did I just read
it took me a while, but it's the nativity story. the angel gabriel knocks up mary and then asks if she came.
Gabriel didn't knock her up. The Holy Spirit came upon her (giggity). In other words, God himself/part of the trinity. Not a mere angel like Gabe or Mike.
The Christian god must be shy as fuck to send a local manager with the package...
At least one of the gospels says that the Holy Spirit "comes upon" Mary and then she is pregnant. Gabriel was just the messenger that she would carry a child.
The story is different depending on which gospel you read
So god pulled out and came on her belly?🤔
Clearly his pull out game is weak then...
Lazy is more like it. Dude hasn't even spoken to his kids in 2000 years.
Probably not a serious answer, but as a tangent, iirc St. Thomas Aquinas believed that angels were not actual beings or messengers and didn't posses a soul. They are direct extensions of god, as we would have arms and legs as extensions or apendages, angels are the "arms and legs" of god.
Edit: because some people have shown interest, the idea that angels at some point rebelled against god and Lucifer became their leader is from a 1667 poem called Paradise Lost by John Milton.
Its an amazing work of fiction that ties in to some already existing mythos at the time (like the hierarchy of angels, from cherubs to seraphim) but it has nothing to do with what's in religious texts, either Jewish, Christian or Muslim.
No, that’s not true, I’m pretty sure the Quran does state that Lucifer rebelled against God (justifying it by making him a djinn instead of an angel), showing that the idea was already floating around at least Arabia around his time.
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